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Teen Poetry #5

Two Faced

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

0 posted 2002-03-24 03:49 PM

Familiarity,
similarity.

Ally,
enemy.

Constant,
consistent.

Adore,
abhor.

The many sides of the two of us.

*Suggestions needed!*

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

1 posted 2002-03-24 04:12 PM

my suggestions?

i don't know exactly what you're trying to go for here. are you trying to have two opposites in each stanza?

because yes, ally and enemy are contradictory [as are adore and abhor], however familiarity and similarity are VERY similar and constant and consistent are synonyms.

i don't know if you did that deliberately or not, but it kind of threw me off.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

2 posted 2002-03-24 10:43 PM

I used those adjectives purposely . . . It's to show while being similar, we really are complete opposites. Thanks for the reply though!

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-03-27 06:17 PM

I liked it a lot but at the same time it scared me cuz it reminds me of the analogies im doing in my SAT prep-course!! ahh lol but it indeed was good!!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

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