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laconic
Member

since 2002-02-17

Posts 64
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2002-03-23 09:48 AM

Lash out at the world with my knife in hand
break my bonds of steel, to spread my contraband
they censored me and tore me down
but instead of falling i stood my ground
in the pits of darkness where i lost my hope
i heard a voice tortured that softly spoke

"in everything we do, the odds are collected
turned against us when we least expect it
in yourself you can believe, but alone you can't achieve
so know your place in this world of haste
and rise above it, see the contours of your life's plan
awaitng the day, when all things become clear
have paitenice my dear..."

the world is torn from beneath my feet
my freedom decapitated i seek retreat
but in this hollow cell i only have sleep
as i close my eyes everything dies
for a night at least...

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

1 posted 2002-03-23 02:51 PM

This was written really well, you should know the importance of hope, hope is what keeps mankind alive.

Great Write...

~Lisa

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

2 posted 2002-03-24 04:18 PM

i really enjoyed the wording in this piece.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-03-26 02:11 PM

"but in this hollow cell i only have sleep
as i close my eyes everything dies
for a night at least..."

sometimes for me, my sleep is my only safe haven...i loved this..keep up the great work

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

4 posted 2002-03-27 01:02 PM

Yeah, I liked this. I want to see more stuff like this around here. Very cool
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

5 posted 2002-03-27 05:39 PM

Wow... this was excellent, and the ending was definately the best part.

Thank you.

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