six elephants in a bath tub full of butter...

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quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2002-03-18 11:22 PM

[title chosen to catch your attention]

untitled

"Hey Stranger"
bear your teeth,
smile too fake.
Once i thought
          you loved me

          ...knowledge
         curse
                       my
                          brain.

Try to hold back
smiles/tears/screams/fears .

Why do you still lie?

/gwen/

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (03-18-2002 11:22 PM).]

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

1 posted 2002-03-18 11:25 PM

mmm tub of butter.....*drools*

Hey this was really good...but you tricked me with the title...I thought we would actually have an upbeat poem in the teen forum...

GREAT POST!

~Lisa

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-03-18 11:35 PM

The title did as your wish.

To me, titles are so very imporant...

As for the poem.... your style is truely, truely unique. Quite appealing, in it's odd way.

It's truely great.

         ...knowledge
         curse
                       my
                          brain.

Great verses here...

~ Titus

My motto... always changing, always improving, living life in veiw of eternity.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-03-19 12:41 PM

The title was most misleading. It did get me to read it and i liked the poem, but the title had nothing to do with it. Oh well hehe.
Well done on the poem. Very odd style, very different, but that is what made me enjoy this poem more than most others.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

ShortSexyAngelOnEarth
Junior Member

since 2001-12-24

Posts 36
im a louisiana cajun princess! lol

4 posted 2002-03-19 01:23 AM

i like it..... like some other people said, you have an odd quirky style, but that makes your poetry more appealing, and definintly stand out from others. well done!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2002-03-19 06:59 PM

LOL pretty interesting title...definately caught my attention!! Great poem!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

6 posted 2002-03-19 10:18 PM

I've told you before, but I'll say it again - I love your style. It's very personal, honest, and interesting. All the better as a messenger for your thoughts and emotions.
Thank you for posting this.

"The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy." - Yves Saint Laurent

Cela passera.

turningthepage.blogspot

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

7 posted 2002-03-20 12:02 PM

ooooooooooooooooooh!..i liked this one a lot...reminded me of a conversation and the thoughts that followed back in highschool

thanks for sharing this jen!

My england is goodly- are you strudable?

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