Teen Poetry #5 |
Life In Chains |
ShortSexyAngelOnEarth Junior Member
since 2001-12-24
Posts 36im a louisiana cajun princess! lol |
hey y'all, i havent written in almost a year, ive had a lot going on, lots of hard-to-deal-with emotions, which also makes it hard to put on paper. cody/cwboyatheart emailed me his poem, "Depression" and i dont know, but it made me want to write again, and i came up with this, the first paragraph yesterday, and the second one today. im not even sure if they fit together, so constructive criticism will be appreciated. but please know, this is hard this being my first in a very long time, so please be gentle. thanks. They say lifes a journey, A road we all take. Sometimes its like a mountaintop, Clear and pleasant. Then sometimes we face valleys, Long and black. As I walk through this darkness, This constant pain, I am lost and confused, And I dont know my way. I wander through the passing days, I silently cry, And pray for the day, That this hurting will end. And I can be free. Free from this darkness Free from this pain. The Dawn of the sun, Announces a new day. Another battle to fight, I now say what I've said At the beginning of each war, I cant win this time, I cant carry on anymore. All those days, That I begged for freedom, To be free live, To be free to fly, And most importantly, To be to free breathe. The opportunity is here, No one around to hold me back, But do I have the courage, To take this final step? What will people say? What will people do? Who will I let down? And who will see me through? So many lives, So many souls, Depending on me, To calm their storms, And brighten their days. Because of this, I will carry on. I suppose this chance, Was no chance at all, Too many souls at stake, To worry about my own. [This message has been edited by ShortSexyAngelOnEarth (03-18-2002 01:08 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Maryn - All Rights Reserved | |||
LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
WOW, Im glad you decided to grace with your writing again. I really like what this poems potrayed, thanks for the read... ~Lisa |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Yikes... that's amazing... Yes, the two parts go together. I wish my writing was this good after taking a year-long break... Congratulations, and welcome to Passions! Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Wow, I love it shortnsexy.... Well done. Life is truely a journey... myself, I am going through one of those battles, one of those wars. But if I pass through this trial, I will be more of a man, better able to help those around me, be a husband, be a father, be a man. You aptly protrayed many of the questions we all ask. Spendid. ~ Titus My motto... always changing, always improving, living life in veiw of eternity. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey girl nice name! lol......... anyways i loved it! welcome to passions!!!look in you email for a specialgreeting! Robin i am me don't tell me different!! JEFF IS ONE HOT STUD *RAWR* i want him *DROOLZ* dam hes hott!!! [This message has been edited by poeticgirl01 (03-17-2002 09:16 PM).] |
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Dunphy Member
since 2002-03-14
Posts 82Massachusetts USA |
i really like ur poem itz great and it makes a lot of sence. life is liek a big chain. i know my life is anyway. i hope you come out wit more poetry you are a great writter and i will look forward to read some of you peoms. i hope you get to read some of mine that i have they are in teen 5 and open 19. you are a great poet. i juss wanted to reply to you an let you know i like your writtin. from kevin reid aka dunphy 18 m mass. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Hey Ryn! Great poem. I really liked it, you did a good job. Hope you keep writing more and keep posting, it's nice havin' you around here - Cody - |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done on the poem. I thought it was heartfelt and very honestly written. Nice one here I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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ShortSexyAngelOnEarth Junior Member
since 2001-12-24
Posts 36im a louisiana cajun princess! lol |
thanks y'all i appreciate the comments! DopeyDope: i never write anything unless its genuine, i relate to it, and its from the heart, aka heartfelt, cause otherwise im a sucky writer...... |
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