Teen Poetry #5 |
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Rose |
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BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA ![]() |
I now wonder who I can trust No matter where I turn Some one is turning Some one is stabbing me in the back So many people I trust They all turn on me What have I done do deserve this? I thought everything was going to work Every one marvels as the rose unfolds They marvel at the sweet smell They adore the delecacy of it's petals The deepness of it's color But then they destroy it As if it were a common weed It's almost like they don't want it around Even after they have said it was so wonderful How can they do this? How can they destroy the one thing they love? How can they cut the stem away? How can they cast away a flower? Why? ---Night Angel |
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© Copyright 2002 Hannah Rochelle Garner - All Rights Reserved | |||
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I liked this one. The metaphor with the rose was very good. The first two stanzas seemed outta place though. The flower portion of the poem overpowered it.Good job. "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
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BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA |
I know this one may not be as good as some of my others. I agree that the first two parts of it are a little out of place, I've been suffering from writters block out my ears lately. I'm working on getting it back though so bear with me. ---Night Angel |
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chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
i read this over 5 times and even though the first two stanza did not fit it was needed or else "ROSE" would not have a soul, it would of been about a dying flower. |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
I agree with chas...the first 2 stanzas introduce us to the writer and their feelings and lets us be sympathetic to the "rose" that has been cast aside. Excellent job ![]() The day you were born, you were born free |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
this poem was really good...i know how you feel b/c the feeling is all too familiar...i just dont understand why people do what they do either mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo" |
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