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Teen Poetry #5
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fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2002-02-13 12:37 PM


hello, ok so i know this one is pretty crappy, but oh well. i have writers block, lol oh well again.  read and reply honestly i guess.
-bergundy-

my heart must taste like candy
everybody wants a piece
and you know they'll be back for more
it's guarnteed
so much so
that i don't even bleed
anymore
use your teeth
use your  claws
rip it apart
it doesn't even hurt
stomp on it
delicately tear
it's many strands apart
it's amazing how
i don't even care
i am immune
to the pain
and love is like a drug
that kills sweetly
as the victim
drops down to their knees
and begs for more

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

© Copyright 2002 bergundy - All Rights Reserved
DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
1 posted 2002-02-13 01:24 PM


This is a great poem. I hope things get better for you soon though.

                          Dawn

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
2 posted 2002-02-13 03:01 PM


The insatiable appetite for our hearts is pathetic.  I know how you feel....
Great work

~LCBS

Exeryone makes mistake, learn from them and move on, because tomorrow we'll make more...

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
3 posted 2002-02-18 01:55 AM


hey thanks both of you for replying to this. it means a lot. thanks!
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
4 posted 2002-02-18 02:15 AM


This one is really unique!!! I liked the way you wrote it!!!

and love is like a drug
that kills sweetly
as the victim
drops down to their knees
and begs for more


That is the part I like best!!! Great job!!!

~ShAtTeReD mEmOrIeS,
aRe AlL i HaVe LeFt,
Of YoU aNd Me.~

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2002-02-18 01:38 PM


This was a really great poem actually..i dunno why u thought it wasnt!!

mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo"

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