Teen Poetry #5 |
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Untitled for now. |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
I've been working on this one for a while.It's just this idea that came to me one day and got stuck in my head.Truth is I really do wanna be able to do this someday.Sigh... For you, my Love, I would only ask let me do this and this alone willing, this simple amourous task to hope that all I feel is shown This simple thing of no consequence one hundred fold would I do to see a smile upon your face, forever hence my sweet, your inamorato's duty smitten my darling, I am with you and knowing that you feel quite the same this once I promise myself to be true you and our love, never put to shame so when you look at me yearning no matter how strange it may seem at 2 o'clock in the morning I WANT to go get you ice cream. ex animo, Aaron There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. [This message has been edited by aaron woodside (02-03-2002 04:45 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 aaron woodside - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
nicely done aaron...it reflects the wontoness of the hopeless romantic. i think you conveyed your "willingness" to go out of your way to do your Loves' bidding well. rhyme scheme was great but you lacked a certain pizzaz in your conclusion. if you were trying to be cute then i would suggest a change of title. giving away the "punchline" straight up ruined the experiance for me. good poem though, it has great potential. eyes...........feeel...D |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Really cute poem aaron ![]() BoOsH bOoSh nApoLE |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Awwww!! that's all I can say it was quite cute and sweet and all those nice adjectives and so forth=) I really truly liked it.. Kristen ~With one kiss you can strip me defenseless..~ |
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