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inspiredpoetwriter
Member

since 2002-01-05

Posts 104
Minnesota

0 posted 2002-01-27 07:12 PM

January 23, 2002, 7:39 PM

I can’t take the tears
The sorrow I feel
I can’t fight the demons that
Dwell in my dreams
Tomorrow I only for
Happiness and peace
To find only lonely ness a
Drowning heart.
I can’t find the world
I’m so far in this dark place there’s
No where out no place
To hide only to sit
Here alone and cry
Smile is down a frown
For years
I hate my self for everything
I’ve done to (edited) It up.
I can’t see the light only
Here and there will I see it soon
Or see the devil in hell?
Aching ,bleeding, troubled soul..

p.s gotta title for dis one lemmie know aight bye!!

¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥iM a PoEt WhO wRiTeZ Wit HeR Heart ¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (01-31-2002 10:13 AM).]

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

1 posted 2002-01-27 07:31 PM

wow,a lot of emotion went into this piece
it was well expressed,good job...as for a title how about "troubled Soul"

*for someone who's used to heartache,losing it all was just a matter of time*
Be kind,for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-01-27 08:29 PM

I really liked this, i've felt this way a lot so i understand what your saying completely..you put a lot of emotion into this..nicely done...keep em coming

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2002-01-31 10:14 AM

Lots of emotions roaming in this poem. I understand the need to get everything out, but when you have the desire to do so, try to keep the profanity (even astericks) out. It tends to make it a better poem

I enjoyed what you have... although very sad. I hope you're alright. Hang in there.

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

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