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Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

0 posted 2002-01-22 02:46 PM

Drifting over uncertain ideas
that I can blindly entertain,
I find a numb feeling
coating itself over my senses
I fear that I may not recognize
a breath of air if I come across it
I feel thick heavy doors
made of metal and secrets
deep in my soul
Wandering through
the labyrinth of my depths,
I exist in my shadows
while searching for the door
Dark hallways of giant gray stones,
Damp and dripping with rain
I pass through quietly
Keeping my eyes
on the endless corridor
until finally I see
the two thick, heavy doors
existing intensely at the end
Yet I dare not rush to these doors
and open them with enthusiasm
For fear that the screaming girl
whose cries echo through the corridors
with a sense of hopeless captivity
that chills me to the bone
lives on the other side..
Deep inside
I think she lives there
I think she’s dying there
Fearing that I can’t save her

1.22.02

Jaime

-- the calm before the storm --

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (01-22-2002 02:50 PM).]

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

1 posted 2002-01-22 10:19 PM

This is really interesting
The imagery is excellent
Good job!

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-01-22 11:28 PM

WoW..great job!!!! Powerful stuff...nicely done!

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

3 posted 2002-01-23 04:09 AM

waw..this is so.. I don't know what to say. It's great

I'm always myslef. Isn't that enough for you?

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2002-01-23 11:03 PM

Wonderful imagery! This was amazing, Jaime. As usual, the darkness and eeriness was enough to make this one shine. But the power of your words are amazing.

Well done! I enjoyed this.

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2002-09-24 07:17 AM

Brilliant interpretation of yourself, Jaime. This really caught my attention for the simple fact that it is so *real*. Most poems are written on a superficial level but you really delve into the meaning behind the piece and bring it to life. Yay! An interesting writer!!

Thanks for the read. I'm very glad that I stumbled over this.

~AF~

"No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words

lilmissbabyteddybear
Junior Member

since 2003-03-16

Posts 17
Abilene, Texas

6 posted 2003-03-17 12:06 PM

i loved the way you described everything in this poem..you have a great imagenation.. i like it. ~+~+~JeNnYgOoD~+~+~

Broken
Member

since 2000-03-12

Posts 271
The woods

7 posted 2003-06-17 08:04 PM

I feel thick heavy doors
made of metal and secrets
deep in my soul

I had a look in my library, and there you were

I haven't been here for a while.
But anyway, I pulled those lines out, as they well describe the way I feel right now. And I wasn't exactly disapointet with the rest of the poem eighter. Nice piece of work.

Your friend
~Espen~

Such griefs with such men well agree,
But wherefore, wherefore fall on me ?
To be beloved is all I need,
And whom I love, I love indeed.

S.T.C

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