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Teen Poetry #5
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Allysa
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Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2002-01-22 12:50 PM


Lying on a blanket
spread out on the hillside
Darkness creeping o'er everything
stars shining in the sky.
Hold me, would you?
Don't ruin the moment
by saying no.
Are you scared I'll leave
tomorrow?
The day after?
day after
day after that?
You don't talk much anymore
I guess there's nothing left to say.
You know me inside out
every vein's your river
in and out of me.
Every hole in my heart's been filled
you carry a bucket of cement
just waiting for it to dry now.
My soul's just common knowledge.

Or at least it is to you.

wrote this a while ago....

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

© Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
1 posted 2002-01-22 01:11 PM


I'm not quite sure what to say that wouldn't sound superficial or far too typical. But I mean what I say... This is an awkward situation to try and put into words, so the fact that you did it so well is amazing in itself. You just expressed yourself so well. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you.

Jaime



-- the calm before the storm --

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (01-22-2002 01:12 PM).]

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
2 posted 2002-01-22 03:20 PM


Thanks Jaime.  I wasn't sure at first if I was going to put this on here or not...

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2002-01-23 10:18 AM


Allysa -- are you still talking about this one person?
be done with it.....
hope we talk on IM again
get on once in a while will ya
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2002-01-23 11:06 PM


The ending here was awesome!  That was enough to give me chills
And listen to acire... sounds like he knows what he's talking about.
I enjoyed this.  I look forward to more

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
5 posted 2002-01-25 03:50 PM


Acire, me and that person are still on good terms but he's way too controlling for me.  I've found a better guy, possibly two.... but never two at the same time.

Thanks everyone!

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2002-01-26 11:59 PM


I know how you feel...i liked this a lot allysa..i was gonna say i hope things worked out for you 2 but then i saw that u told acire that he's too controlling for you so i hope that your happy w/the way things turned out hun and if not ::hugs::

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

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