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Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

0 posted 2002-01-18 11:13 PM

Plummeting toward oblivion
Submerging myself in the depths of despair,
I'm not allow to hit rock bottom-
Apparently not when people "care."
Guilty that I feel like this
When I've shown my hell to another,
Now they try to carry my burden
That I can share with no other.
Hiding shreds of hope,
Broken, tattered, now torn,
Now running, now fleeing,
From the place this hell was born.
For fear has consumed me,
I was far too easy prey.
With far too large a predator
That sees no shades of gray.
My body is betraying me
Showing the world the secrets that I've kept,
Now I'm guilty of taking to heart
The useless tears I've wept.
Lies hide the secrets
Concealer hides the lies,
No one knows I'm dying,
(But) They can see it in my eyes.
Calmly kneeling, staring
Into the cold green eyes of Fate,
Funny how life can fall apart
With a little shred of hate.

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

1 posted 2002-01-19 12:10 PM

I think this is a powerful poem, as in, the words used are very strong.

It leaves a deep impact on one emotionally. Good job!!

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-01-19 02:58 PM

Wow... what a deep and dark piece. Very riveting... Such emotion, such imagrey. A beautiful write. I can't say enough about it. Good luck, and you have my prayers my friend. Again, a superb job on this one.

Sincerely,
Titus

Smile, Jesus loves you. :)

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

3 posted 2002-01-19 03:26 PM

This was an excellent poem. The imagery was great. I love dark poems!
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2002-01-19 03:40 PM

Wow hun..niocely written!! I enjoyed this a lot..you put a lot of emotion into it..keep em comin!

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

5 posted 2002-01-19 04:17 PM

This is a great piece, thank you for sharing it with us

Andrew

"All things must end, but I can see my fate in your eyes" -Turin Breaks

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2002-01-19 05:05 PM

"Guilty that I feel like this
When I've shown my hell to another,
Now they try to carry my burden
That I can share with no other."

This is so beautifully painful.

I hope all is well... *hugs*

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

7 posted 2002-01-20 11:38 PM

wow this is a really great post. i had to read it twice. great job isabel, your poems never cease to move me.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

china doll
Junior Member

since 2002-01-20

Posts 22

8 posted 2002-01-21 07:23 PM

This poem reminds me of my best friend...It is so deep, which reminds me of the pain that she can never escape...It is so hard because I know she can't help it, but I don't want to let her slip away...How can I help her? You've reflected your feelings so clearly, How do you want people to treat you? (I'm just seeking advice from concern, not to make you feel weird or anything

Sincerely Joanna

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