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AshlieAcklin
New Member

since 2002-01-17

Posts 6

0 posted 2002-01-18 12:04 PM

One of my fresh ones...needs some work

Sleep away your problems
Sleep away your dreams
Sleep away your life
Its not as great as it seems

Sleep away your hunger
Sleep away your tears
Sleep away your anger
Sleep away your fears

Sleep away your past
Sleep away the darkest night
Sleep away your future
Sleep away the light

Sleep away the people
Sleep away the world
Sleep away your existance
Sleep away, little gitl

1-15-02 ANA

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2002-01-18 10:00 AM

I think this is what i do..i always sleep away my life to avoid problems..im sad..i sleep..im annoyed..i sleep..as long as theres something that needs to not be dealt with..i always sleep...hm...

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2002-01-19 04:27 PM

Great work I really enjoyed the read

, keep on posting here

Andrew

"All things must end, but I can see my fate in your eyes" -Turin Breaks

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2002-01-19 06:14 PM

I really enjoyed this. Very beautiful words...

You're a talented poet, and I do enjoy reading your work, but don't forget about reading other poet's works and replying either

That's always an important part of PIP

I hope to see more soon.

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

4 posted 2002-01-20 02:10 AM

hey, i really liked this. it had a good solid rhyme scheme. good post, thank you for sharing it with us, and i hope you continue to write.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

5 posted 2002-01-20 12:02 PM

Yes, I think sleep is a good cure for almost anything... hunger, pain, fatigue... and it is sleep that brings our mind into another state where we can dream of the impossible. However, we need to remain awake to make this dreams come true.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

6 posted 2002-01-20 06:02 PM

This was nicely written! It was sad, in a way, since it reminded me of the rest of the world. I wish someone would tell me to sleep. ^^;

The rhyme scheme was well done! The meter, however, needs a little work in a couple of places, but it's nothing serious. It still had the drive to keep going. ^_^

Keep up the good work! ^_^

-Li

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

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