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shooting stars
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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shooting stars |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
Shooting across the sky the star leaves it's trace lying here waiting, longing to see your face restlesss I wonder thoughts of what tomorrow could bring but fearful of the fact that I could loose everything your beauty consumes my mind it drives me insane a joy so beautiful and at the same time pain a desire lasting for years, something I cannot obtain I would lose the wourld, if only you I could gain my mind rages, and my thoughts do not cease but there in your arms I find so much peace at least for a moment until we say good bye and I watch you drive away in the blink of an eye we say we love each other and I now it's true but even in that love I cannot be with you . Last week we watched a shooting star streak the sky we sat there staring and just wondering why, 2 beings in the middle of the beach holding each other tight and then yesterday we talked and I asked you to stay the night it wasn't to be anything big just us chilling together but then those few hours turned to forever the minutes passed like hours, had time stopped with three simple words my stomach dropped my lips met yours and from that moment on I was through confliction in my mind and I do not know what to do I held you and everything just seemed so right but something snapped insyde of me last night I didn't want to let you go I wanted you to stay but in My heart I knew it wouldn't happen that way so I sit I wait longing to be with you how the story goes only time will see it through so now I wait watching shooting stars fly by wondering if wishes come true, staring at the dark blue sky. we fall like the stars then rise like the sun..Repentence.Forgiveness.We are blame worthy hold us to our wrongs..but don't hold our wrongs against us [This message has been edited by the_rescue (01-15-2002 01:04 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 the_rescue - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Wow... just wondering if you really do get to see so many shooting stars...  I was in Australia when the world was experiencing the meteor shower in Nov 2001, but Brisbane was so cloudy that day, I didn't get to see even a star.  Anywayz, this is really a sweet poem, and I do hope your wishes come true And one thing you can improve on, is to do spellcheck. _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
hey thanx and yeah I actually saw one last thursday night I think it's the first one Ive seen in my life and it was cool and well I was with a really good friend of mine. as you can tell we fall like the stars then rise like the sun..Repentence.Forgiveness.We are blame worthy hold us to our wrongs..but don't hold our wrongs against us |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was really good but i think the word "chilling" kinda took away from the seriousness and the emotion of the poem...dont get me wrong tho becaue i use that word like u'd never believe but just when i see it in a poem it doesnt look right but thats just my opinion...either way i liked the poem a lot! yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I enjoyed this poem and it's simply but meaningful message. I do agree though that the word "chilling" doesn't quite fit in with the seriousness. However, it also gives a touch of your personality to the piece which makes it yours. So either way I could see it working. Thanks for posting this. The only thing that I fear is to die quietly. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
nice poem hun. you doing ok? well keep up the good work. love ya! robin i have a wish but only a certain guy can fufill it! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very beautiful poem... the images are awesome. I enjoyed it, as always. --Marie I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no should ever feel this alone. |
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