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Teen Poetry #5
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the weak man and the witch
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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the weak man and the witch |
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Yezea, your Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 11Canada |
This is my third real english written poem.. I mean.. I didnt right it in frenh first and translate after. Im not really getting better but just feeling a inspiration mood. -,--`-{@}--`--,-{@}--`--,--{@}--`-,---{@}--`--,--{@}--`--,--{@}--`--,- You was walking around the town lonely Was looking here and there for something to study A lady was sitting there seeming also lonely You approached her with good manner, friendly Beautiful, nice and acting sweetly She was almost begging you to help your study By her proposal you was tempting But first, you should ask around for some warning! "She is one of those woman which At the night falling, change into a witch Don't put a foot in her road Otherway, you will begin to act like a stupid toad The rest of your life you'll be under her commands Rarely you'll be able to do what you want Most of the time, at her feet you'll be on your knee Begging her to let you free" Its too late, at midnight you succumbed. With only a kiss, she cursed you, charmed You was like in a beautiful dream you didnt want to hide Out of enregy, tired you decided to sleep by her side The darkness of the night dispate to let come the day Quietly sleeping, she looks cute like a fae She seems so innocent, how can she harm someone Still charmed by her voice, you'll protect her from anyone You are now uncursable and unfortunatly got marry From you, the sweetest lady can be near But you will try to not speak to this lady Because you are now weak and obey from fear |
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| © Copyright 2002 Zeah - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
For a fairly new attempt at writing English poems, this is quite well-written.  Such 'be-witching' is the lady, but why pick on that man?_,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I'd say you were doing pretty well there It's good to see such a tale as you have woven..there is magic we can weave through our words..Loved it So printing this so I can read over and over and over again!! Kristen ~The ice is thin, come on dive in underneath my lucid skin~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Very well written poem especially for only one of your few written in English, i'd say you did a very good job!!! yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I liked how creative and story-like it was. The imagery was nice and although you're english wasn't that great... well... who's is?  I think for one of your few written english poems you did very good. I'm learning french and I know I'd do horrible at writing a poem in french so the fact that you even tried it I think was quite something. Thank you for posting. P.S.- I like your screen name. The only thing that I fear is to die quietly. Read between the lines. jaimespoetry.blogspot.com [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (01-15-2002 04:18 PM).] |
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Yezea, your Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 11Canada |
Well I thank you all guys for your nice comments. Just wanted to say that this "history" was hm a real one.. I just wrote it out of hate, anger and well love. The ones which know about who Im talking about would be able to maybe read some more thing "between the line" Dont be shy to comment more my poems by the way.. thanks again *group hugs* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
VERY nice job!! Especially considering your english isn't 100% there yet... but wow, it seems so close. I really liked the story line, and the images were awesome. You're very talented... I really enjoyed this (and the history explination.) Wonderful work.--Marie I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no should ever feel this alone. |
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