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HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada

0 posted 2002-01-04 08:53 PM


~* Haven't been around much lately, but I hope to change that. And for this change I wrote a reallllly long poem.   *~


I've faced myself in the mirror time and time again
Just to learn that my life could be better off in the end
I bite my lip and roll my eyes,
Just to make time pass by
I've got no reason to lie to myself or to the ones I care about,
But in the end, those same people give me just one doubt
I shake, I shiver at the thought that someone could take advantage of me
I dream that when I pour my heart out to the one person I only trust,
The next second they leave and my heart is only left to bleed
I don't want to have to keep quiet
Just because I can't release my sentiments

I'm unstable and harden,
Yet everyone still thinks I can hold the whole world in my hand
No one knows that at any given day,
I just may crack and decide to waste my life away
I sat in the sunlight one day just to learn one thing
I learned that I keep anything deep to myself because I fear for what it may bring
If I speak to you about myself falling,
Would you still care about me or turn around and start walking?
If I told you who I really was,
Could I still come to you with all my trust?

People always say just let it all out,
But I say it's not worth the screams and shouts
I must deal with my own emotions
And focus on my wishing instructions
I can't control myself like you do
So don't tell me that I can just come to you
And tell you everything that's wrong with me
Because then all I can see
Is you getting up to leave
Don't make me go through what I already have been through
I've learnt my lesson not to bother anyone, especially you

I know that I could be just like others,
That I could be just like old time offenders
I know not everyone wants to sit in their room,
And think of things that are bad and brut
But I know that what I have is strong,
And that it won't last in my head for long
But don't let me do it when I'm not ready,
I'm just still frightened and so lonely
My head keeps spinning round and round
That I'm so confused that I just feel like falling down
I know someday I will crack
Lift the weights off of my back
That'll be the day I take a chance
I'll sit there and watch whether you go or take a stance
Don't make me let you make that choice
By letting you hear words that come from my voice,
Which could make or break myself


"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

[This message has been edited by HiddenSparklez (01-06-2002 03:14 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Sims - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
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1 posted 2002-01-04 09:40 PM


Wow. I don't know what to say. Awesome expression in this one. I don't want to sound cliche, but I know what you're feeling. Don't let yourself get hard though. Find someone you can talk to. It's too hard to soften up when you want to. Mucho good luck!

You know you're Canadian when if something's broken, the first thing you ask is if it can be fixed with WD-40 or Duct Tape

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2002-01-05 10:31 PM


This is a very well-written poem.  You expressed your emotions very clearly, and did well with writing about heavy issues.

The only critque I have is to fix the title: Make or Break.  Sometimes, spelling errors in the title turn people away from reading your poem.

I enjoyed this... I look forward to reading more

--Marie

"It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2002-01-07 10:55 PM


This was such a great piece!! I absolutely loved how you wrote this. Nicely done and nice to see you posting again!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

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