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Make Or Break
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Make Or Break |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
~* Haven't been around much lately, but I hope to change that. And for this change I wrote a reallllly long poem.  *~I've faced myself in the mirror time and time again Just to learn that my life could be better off in the end I bite my lip and roll my eyes, Just to make time pass by I've got no reason to lie to myself or to the ones I care about, But in the end, those same people give me just one doubt I shake, I shiver at the thought that someone could take advantage of me I dream that when I pour my heart out to the one person I only trust, The next second they leave and my heart is only left to bleed I don't want to have to keep quiet Just because I can't release my sentiments I'm unstable and harden, Yet everyone still thinks I can hold the whole world in my hand No one knows that at any given day, I just may crack and decide to waste my life away I sat in the sunlight one day just to learn one thing I learned that I keep anything deep to myself because I fear for what it may bring If I speak to you about myself falling, Would you still care about me or turn around and start walking? If I told you who I really was, Could I still come to you with all my trust? People always say just let it all out, But I say it's not worth the screams and shouts I must deal with my own emotions And focus on my wishing instructions I can't control myself like you do So don't tell me that I can just come to you And tell you everything that's wrong with me Because then all I can see Is you getting up to leave Don't make me go through what I already have been through I've learnt my lesson not to bother anyone, especially you I know that I could be just like others, That I could be just like old time offenders I know not everyone wants to sit in their room, And think of things that are bad and brut But I know that what I have is strong, And that it won't last in my head for long But don't let me do it when I'm not ready, I'm just still frightened and so lonely My head keeps spinning round and round That I'm so confused that I just feel like falling down I know someday I will crack Lift the weights off of my back That'll be the day I take a chance I'll sit there and watch whether you go or take a stance Don't make me let you make that choice By letting you hear words that come from my voice, Which could make or break myself "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear [This message has been edited by HiddenSparklez (01-06-2002 03:14 AM).] |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow. I don't know what to say. Awesome expression in this one. I don't want to sound cliche, but I know what you're feeling. Don't let yourself get hard though. Find someone you can talk to. It's too hard to soften up when you want to. Mucho good luck! You know you're Canadian when if something's broken, the first thing you ask is if it can be fixed with WD-40 or Duct Tape |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very well-written poem. You expressed your emotions very clearly, and did well with writing about heavy issues. The only critque I have is to fix the title: Make or Break. Sometimes, spelling errors in the title turn people away from reading your poem. I enjoyed this... I look forward to reading more --Marie "It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows) |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such a great piece!! I absolutely loved how you wrote this. Nicely done and nice to see you posting again! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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