I went blank when it came to the name

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Teen Poetry #5

I went blank when it came to the name

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

0 posted 2001-07-07 05:57 PM

I looked at the water
and the reflection I saw
was one filled with pain
born from a wound raw.
They say time does heel
as it goes by
but this reflection I saw
told me that's a lie!
I too would feel
time has betrayed me
if I covered my wounds
with a :"That doesn't hurt me."

I looked at the reflection
and it back at me,
pain needs to be faced
before you can be free.

So this one was written quickly, and I know there's a few oopsy's...pointers will help

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-07-07 11:32 PM

the message was a clear and true one...i liked the poem

...this was well written.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

2 posted 2001-07-08 03:02 AM

Very nice poem keep up the great work!
Lauren

Empty tears
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 64

3 posted 2001-07-08 03:11 AM

I liked this a lot. the only thing that could be fixed would be the spelling of heal.
nice job!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-07-09 12:32 PM

I liked this one....nice message here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

5 posted 2001-07-09 03:58 PM

The flow seemed a little off from me, but other than that, it was fine. Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-07-15 07:47 PM

You have covered it well. I never thought anyone would bring it up. You are very right. You have to face it to be able to rid of it. Awesome. *applauds*

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

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