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prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

0 posted 2001-12-30 11:03 PM

you look at me and see the girl
who lives inside the golden world
but don't believe thats all there is to me
she smiles through a thousand tears
and harbors adolescent fears
she dreams of all that she can never be
she wades insecurity
and hides herself inside of me
dont say she takes it all for granted
i'm well aware of what i have
don't think i'm disenchanted
please understand
its seems as though i've always been
somebody outside looking in
well here i am for all of them to bleed
but they can't take my heart from me
and they can't bring me to my knees
they'll never know the real me

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2001-12-31 12:06 PM

"but they can't take my heart from me
and they can't bring me to my knees
they'll never know the real me"

I love it!!! Excellent job! You have definate strength!!! Right on!

I thought your flow was a little choppy, but that sort of adds to your poem.

You know you're Canadian when if something's broken, the first thing you ask is if it can be fixed with WD-40 or Duct Tape

C?
Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 190

2 posted 2001-12-31 12:51 PM

I can totally relate to what you are saying in here, don't worry there are many of us who still understand, despite what you think your school friends know of you

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

3 posted 2001-12-31 01:05 AM

Magical post #69! lol jk
ahem excuse me, i apologize for those who are offended.

now to the poem, I found it was a nice representation of what you're feeling. Good job.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

4 posted 2001-12-31 02:40 AM

Oooohhh I liked this one ALOT....I can really relate to what you are saying here....
Thanks for sharing...cant wait to see more.
~Nikki~

Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it...

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

5 posted 2001-12-31 04:19 PM

Wow!!
it is like you just wrote my life story..
wow..
I love it.
the flow is great
expression very nice.
A great poem that is going
to my library..
thanks for writing this, you don't
know how much this means to me..

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

6 posted 2001-12-31 05:56 PM

This was really good. i dotn have much to say, im sorta brain dead. keep writing, and keep your dignity close your heart.

Regina

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

7 posted 2002-01-01 09:16 PM

I completely agree with this poem right here and how people will never know the real you cuz they're so caught up in their own lifes and cant get past the exterior of things to really take a look at the inside...i love this poem..so much truth to it

I can definately relate!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2002-01-03 11:56 AM

This is very well written, prov.

she smiles through a thousand tears
and harbors adolescent fears
she dreams of all that she can never be
she wades insecurity

I loved those lines. Heavy emotions... and you portray them well.

Nicely done

--Marie

"It was a long December, and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

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