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Teen Poetry #5

in time

prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

0 posted 2001-12-26 01:40 PM

in time...deaths hand caught his soul and threw it in the sky

in time...she blamed herself and wished too to die

in time...she found a perfect way, emotional suicide

in time...she knew her blame was falsh, but pain she could not hide

in time...her angry voice screamed "life you are not fair"

in time...life gently said "did i leave you nothing there"

in time...she saw with minds eye his fragile constitution

in time...she forgave him and his ultimate solution

in time...death caught his sould and threw it in the sky

in time...she softly whispered "my father, friend, goodbye"

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-12-26 03:13 PM

this is a fantastic write, I like the repeating of "in time" heart felt .....

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-12-26 04:56 PM

I like the repition! Very interesting way to write this. I like the piece. It's stylistic, and unique. Well done!

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

3 posted 2001-12-26 05:15 PM

i appreciate you two commenting on my piece

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2001-12-26 08:21 PM

WOW!!! Oh wow i dont even know what to say...great piece!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

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