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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-12-22 10:51 AM

i know this isnt my best, but it was a new style, so tell me wut u think

He has found his love,
sent from heaven above,
something he's always dreamed of,
a goal he's finally achieved.

He feels he's finally free,
he was being the man he always wanted to be,
but her lies he couldn't see,
his love and trust she did deceive.

His friends tried to talk, with thier faces so grim,
they couldn't believe what she did to him,
he wouldn't listen, his mind was to dim,
thier words he couldn't believe.

He thought they'd always be together,
live happily ever after, forever,
but with each day, she grew more cleaver,
without her love, his heart began to grieve.....

~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

1 posted 2001-12-22 07:31 PM

I really liked the form u used here, and I think you did a great job with it!! It's always fun to try something new!!

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2001-12-23 12:37 PM

This was an interesting format...i actually liked it a lot...new and different

Good poem as well

Nicely done and keep up the good work!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-12-23 09:16 AM

Such a sad situation but ah well, some things are left better that way.

Like the others, I liked your format. It works well with the piece.

Please remember to reply to others work also.

~AF~

If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

4 posted 2001-12-23 10:50 AM

I actually have a friend who went through that sittuation, except the roles were reversed. I think you did great in that format, I like it, I write in it all the time. The poem was great.

Don't Drink and Park!
Accidents may cause People!

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