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LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2001-06-24 07:18 PM

“When I Saw You”

Tranquility surrounds my mind
As I speak of you out loud
I see you out of nowhere
And my heart begins to pound

My mind goes blank
I race away to gather my thoughts
But it is to late
Your already gone

Oh if I could only
Control this feeling
To keep some peace of mind
When I see your face
And my heart insanly starts to race

Whle I was gone
Someone played a game
Just to see
What your reaction would be

I don’t know what happened
Or whats really going on
All I know is that when I see you
I lose myself
And love every second of it.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-06-24 07:30 PM

this is great!

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

2 posted 2001-06-24 07:31 PM

see i told you!

one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

3 posted 2001-06-24 07:36 PM

lol, i guess you did.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-06-24 08:51 PM

I really love the last few lines, when you say whenever you see her you lose yourself, and you love it. That was pretty cool. Nice work. I remember those feelings... *sigh*
I enjoyed this.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

5 posted 2001-06-24 09:55 PM

All too familiar feelings.

I liked this alot! Keep posting.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

6 posted 2001-06-25 02:34 AM

this is really good and kinda sweet.
I liked it.
katie

fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

7 posted 2001-06-25 04:59 AM

hey this was sweet...and no sighing marie!!!
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

8 posted 2001-06-25 09:28 AM

Great work Lone Wolf, I really enjoyed the read

Andrew

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

9 posted 2001-06-25 10:36 AM

Thank you all for your replies

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Martini
Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 308
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

10 posted 2001-06-25 01:18 PM

wow
this is exactly the way I feel about my ex, everytime I see him I lose control

awesome write!!

"In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: It Goes On"
~Robert Frost

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2001-06-25 07:35 PM

beautiful words, specially the last lines. I'm loving it. Thanks for the excellent read. keep sharing

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

12 posted 2001-06-25 10:11 PM

I can totally relate to this..thank you for sharing!!!!!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

FoxXena
Member

since 2001-06-13

Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted

13 posted 2001-06-25 10:57 PM

Awe, how sweet!!

~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~
~*~I say it is the written word.~*~

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

14 posted 2001-06-26 07:34 PM

Thank you for the replies

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

15 posted 2001-06-26 11:56 PM

I liked this one. I relate to it on some level. Well done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

16 posted 2001-06-29 11:37 AM

Your rhyme scheme started out so well but when it hit the third stanza, it went all weird. Perhaps if you fix that up, you could have an even more powerful piece.

~AF~

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

17 posted 2001-06-29 11:53 AM

All that stuff about the rhyme and everything has already been said. I personally liked it a lot b/c of the images. "I race away to gather my thoughts
But it is to late" I loved these lines, and I especially liked the ending.

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

18 posted 2001-07-01 05:51 PM

i really liked this poem...i relate to so much

...great job! you expressed this so well...hope to see more...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

19 posted 2001-07-01 06:03 PM

Thank you all for your replies

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Jessica

Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 350
South AL

20 posted 2001-07-02 12:25 PM

I loved this one...

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

21 posted 2001-07-02 02:27 PM

liked the poem.. It's very nice. I can relate to it..

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

22 posted 2001-07-02 07:55 PM

this is beautiful

i love it!!
*Pixie*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

CowgirlFreedom17
Member

since 2002-05-20

Posts 82
Mississippi

23 posted 2002-05-20 01:54 AM

Wonderful..no, so much more than wonderful.

I love him. I don't have to have a reason, I just do. There comes a time when you have to draw the line and back away from two people in love because

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

24 posted 2002-05-21 12:35 PM

This one is really cool. Man, I miss that feeling... lol Anyway, you did an awesome job with this one.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Baby_Angel123
Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 63
Unity, ME

25 posted 2002-05-26 05:58 PM

Hey great write. It shows your true feelings. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more.
~Angel~

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

26 posted 2002-05-26 10:39 PM

Loved this one hun! Good job

Keep up the great work!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

27 posted 2002-06-04 08:35 PM

wonderful.

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