»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Declaring Love
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Declaring Love |
|
|
babygurl * Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30 |
DECLARING LOVE If my heart was a begger, would you toss it crumbs of affection? If my soul was lost, would you give it some directions? If my days were numbered, would you sit there and hold my hand? If my eyes were filled with tears, would you try to understand? If I were standing in the cold, would you offer me your coat? If my mind had an address, would you drop me a note? If I held the sunshine, would you let me heat up your day? If I told you I loved you, ...would you run away? |
||
| © Copyright 2001 babygurl * - All Rights Reserved | |||
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
I LOVE this!!! This is great...and you said you werenn't good! Jeez---you've insulted some MAJOR talents and potential! Jeez girl... I wouldn't give you crumbs...I'd by you dinner---EVERYDAY!!! I'd give you directions, hold your hand, I WOULD understand---I'd wipe those tears away, I'd give you my coat regardless, I'd drop you a line anytime, babe...Lol, and you can heat as much as you want! And Jackie...I'd never run away from you! ~ Alex My name is Alex...I don't go looking for trouble---but when it finds me, I fight back! |
||
|
babygurl * Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30 |
thanks babe! i really didnt think it was that great i wrote it a while ago... i really liked it then... i guess its ok... you and i are so cute! lol... |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
"If I told you I loved you, ...would you run away? " awwww this is so cute jackie..i really enjoyed the read- its so sweet!....just watch out for alex    Welcome Jackie! im glad you made it in here...im sure youll enjoy this place as much as kiddo over there does  read, reply, post till you BURST!  enjoyed this first post of yours very much thanks..  ps- check your email for a speshul greeting  ~cherish/mods |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
 Welcome to Passions!! (haven't done that in a while. )Very nice couplets. I see you've caught alex's attention..lol. I hope to see you contribute a lot around here. ~AF~ Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner. |
||
|
NathanS Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106CA |
*claps vigorously* VERY NICE! I really liked this, it was most most excellent. This is going to my Library for sure! -Dreys |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Lol, darn rights she's caught my attention! If you see a change in me don't wonder...there's someone in my life---a peace I can't describe...for I've been reborn! |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Oh wow, this is simply superb. The style you wrote this is was great. Very simple, but very emotional. I think you couldn't have written this any better. This is probably one of the best poems I've read here in Pip so far. It's that good, in my opinion. VERY well done. Welcome to Passions. Enjoy your stay!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Well done, Jackie! Welcome to Passions in Poetry. This is a wonderful poem, written simply, yet powerful. Nicely put together, especially the style. The way you approached everything with the questions was a good way to work this. I can't wait to read more, hopefully soon. And again... welcome!--Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
WELCOME!!!! I enjoyed your first piece and im looking forward to reading more from you in hopefully the near future Welcome again and i hope you enjoy it here as much as the rest of us do !ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i liked the use of couplets, they gave emphasis to the emotion you wove into this piece. nice work, i look forward to reading more from you. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Welcome!!! Welcome!!! Welcome!!! First of all, let me welcome you to Passions for Poetry I hope you enjoy reading, replying, and sharing your own poems Everyone in here is really nice, and welcomes you to the family Have a great time in this great place Secondly, I loved your first post The questions asked brings about such longing You did a great job and I'm ready to see more of your work Thanks for sharing là où est mon amour? |
||
|
babygurl * Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30 |
thanks for all the great reply's guys! i know its been a while since i been here but i will get postin as soon as i can! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
