»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Another Beginning
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Another Beginning |
|
PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... 
|
I struggle to keep my eyes open, my senses have softened, my mind in a haze, as I fight through the murky maze. Everything’s before me, my chariot awaits me. I can set the wheels in motion, or let all fall into commotion. The battles await, but first things must wait: I go before a waterfall of wisdom, I quench my thirst. Eyes ahead, senses now alert. Set one foot forward- another day has begun. Daniel Redding 10/23/01 |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Not bad. I liked this a lot. The only suggestion is to maybe rhyme something else with "await"..."wait" seems a bit redundant. Also the rhyming scheme is inconsitant at the end, like it drops off. if you meant that, then no worries, I just figured I'd point it out. But other than that, nice one! Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 11-10-2001).] |
||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I go before a waterfall of wisdom, I quench my thirst. Very good! Very very good! I really enjoyed this one! Into the library! ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Just keep moving forward, never back down Thanks for sharing là où est mon amour? |
||
|
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Ditto with what acire said...stay strong hun...wonderful poem  ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
||
|
Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
*sigh* god yes, this life is tiring. but you've got the right idea. one step at a time. i like this one. Everyone's got their demons. |
||
|
punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey hun great poem i liked it, i know life can get overwhelming goodness do i know it can! just take it slowly and you'lee see things will fall into place at the right time and at the right place. lov ya! robin repeat after me and rhonda : TITUS RULES THE EARTH!! ( i saw your sig rhon! lol) |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was really good. It's so important to remember to continue trudging ahead, no matter how difficult it may sometimes be.  ~*Nikki*~ *~Fighting for your love~* |
||
|
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Nice sig Nik... thanks everyone. Titus |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 BRAVO!!! Yes, yes, always embrace each new day with a smile and know a new day has come and He will offer us so much love always, for His love will never fail us! (big hugggssss) We all wish you the greatest bliss always, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I really like this poem a lot. The message, the way in which you expressed yourself... all of it... superb. I wish I could give you more, but right now I can't. I'll later explain... Love, Your Memina Cela passera. turningthepage.blogspot.com [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (03-31-2002 09:42 PM).] |
||
|
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thank you Noah, for your interest in my work and your compliments! This poem is indeed my anthem... thank you for reminding me of it! Memina, thank you.  I'll talk to you tonight.  ~ Titus "My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
||
|
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
As usual I just love reading your work, thanks for sharing |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
