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Teen Poetry #5
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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
The memories of the pain all come flooding back. The taste so foul. No longer do yolu have the perfect teeth, No longer do you posses that perfect smile. No longer do you get the looks you used to get. For once again they have caged you just as things were looking up. Just as that boy you noticed not that many months ago, comes back. He notices you.... but also notices your teeth. why oes he only notice you now... He had two years. Two years in which he could have walked into this life of yours and noticed that smile that has now disapered yet again. fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
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| © Copyright 2001 Katie - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
The memories of the pain all come flooding back. The taste so foul. i really liked this piece  ...the imagery was great...it was a very interetsing read for me...great job!...bye Katie  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-24-2001).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wonderful work, Katie. I haven't read much from you, but this impressed me. I liked the last stanza.. very powerful. Nice work, I enjoyed this. I look forward to reading more. --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work Katherine, I really enjoyed the read. Andrew |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Very nice work, Katiepoo... your talent in writing is developing quite nicely. I'm really beginning to enjoy reading what you come up with. I can see how your technique is beginning to take a more professional form, this is something to be very proud of. This piece in particular is good because you played around with line breaks... putting the word "up" in a line all its own, for example. Also the symbolism of "teeth" is outstanding.  See you around, Katie. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I believe this poem has a lot of potential in it. As more feelings flow thru and could be added, i believe this can be great. beautiful write and keep sharing. thanks for the read hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I like this very much |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like a lot. I haven't read any of your other stuff, but I hope to read more in the future! Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
at first i got sorta confused when i read it, but then i re-read it and actualy understand it. tis four in the morning tho so i deserve a lil credit..newayz i liked this. twas kooly. thanks 4 the read. -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
erm...to tell you the truth, I must really be a blonde, I didn't get it the first time through. lol, but after I read it again, I got it alright!! I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this poem although this may seem like a weird topic is about getting my bracesses on for a second time (wasn't my fault)oh and this guy. fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed thi sone.....not as good as some that i have read by you, but nonetheless nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Sounds like someone wasn't too nice. You seem to have an obsession with teeth. That's all good. Hopefully, you're doing better. If not, good luck to you. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Great job! Braces. Such a completely different topic to write about. You expressed yourself well. I liked this alot.  |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
It was quite a different poem..but i still liked a lot..I never had to have my braces put back on but I did have them for three years longer than everyone else and it sucked...good expression of an interesting topic... ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
Very good! I liked it alot.. |
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