Me VS. You - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

0 posted 2001-07-03 07:14 PM

Hey everyone! IM BACK!!!!! I hope You all Missed me. I had writers bolck for awhile :S but I'm back, these poems aren't my best but at least it's sumthing!!! hope you enjoy

I don't know wh I like him,
So please don't question why.
I know right now you hate me,
And probably wish I'd die.

But before you keep on hating,
Please just hear me out.
I want you to understand,
What this is all about.

You were there for me,
When I needed you the most.
But when I gave you a thank-you kiss,
Why did you lie, and boast?

I am no using you,
And I truly never was.
Do you think that I dislike you?
I hang with you just cause?

I want you to be in my life,
But you have understannd.
I want you as my friend,
Not as my man.

I know I've made mistakes,
But I'm only human like you.
So please don't hate me,
Because you slip up too.

So you can either hate me,
Or you can be my friend.
The ball is in your court now,
It can be forever, or the end.

Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms, and open eyes ~Incubus~

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

1 posted 2001-07-03 07:15 PM

stupid thing!!! It posted it twice! Oh well dopey will come along soon

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

2 posted 2001-07-03 07:15 PM

stupid thing!!! It posted it twice! Oh well dopey will come along soon

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-07-03 07:20 PM

I enjoyed this. Don't worry I'll take care of the double post.
I liked this one a lot. Sounds like one of those poems where you completely vent out what you're feeling about that one person. Very open.....i enjoyed.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

4 posted 2001-07-03 07:22 PM

This is cute, I really like this. I know what it feels like too!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-07-03 08:27 PM

good write

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-07-03 08:55 PM

I liked this alot Ashley.
Nice work.
The last Stanza was my favorite.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-07-04 03:09 AM

first of all..wELCOMEBACK!!

...and this i enjoyed...very well stated of your feelings.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-07-04 10:17 PM

Welcome back!!  Very nice poem, Ashley.  Very simple and honest.  I really enjoyed it.  I really like all the different emotions going through here.
The meter throughout this is very well written.  It flows very nicely for the most part.  There are places where one or two words could be added to inhance the flow a little.  For example, in the second stanza, third line, adding the word "just" in there helps the stanza sound better, making the line, "I just want you to understand".  Also, in the fourth stanza, last line, making the "'cause" you have there "because" would sound a little better.  Those are the two most obvious places.
I really enjoyed this poem.  It's very well written, and the message is a strong one.  Nice work!  Thanks for sharing, and keep sharing your work with us.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-07-09 11:24 AM

I believe that if he acts this way, you shouldn't even give him the time. When someone acts like a kid, treat them like a kid. Obviously, he doesn't respect you when he boasts like that. Typical boy I guess. The bal is in your hands, not his. It's up to you whether you want someone like this as a friend or not.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

10 posted 2001-07-09 03:40 PM

Nice poem. I enjoyed it. Thanks for the great read!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.