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Teen Poetry #5
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.....?\"dear angel..."
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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.....?\"dear angel..." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Angel, angel…can you come ? And show me the way to love, dear friend… Cause I’ll leave my heart with you All my trust and faith will be true So we can lay on the hills In smiling faces, as we caress the love we share Even though time will come for us to depart But our souls will remain not less apart So be my love So be my friend Just come and be with me Cause I need your love in reality Still climbing hills To see if you are there My lonely heart cant take this… Fear of never seeing you, as I go blind Hoping it’ll be soon As I wait for you this time So be my love So be my friend As I sit down in the corner And cry with my head down on my knees My tears fall and fall constantly Please, can you wipe them for me? Cause right now, I’m sad That I can only see you with my eyes closed… So…angel, angel… can you come… And show me the way to love, dear friend ? jun.7 ...its still incomplete. [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-24-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
 Albert! Wow! I liked this one ALOT! Great work here. Just Beautiful! Incomplete you say??? Goodness then- I can't wait to see the finished product. I love your writing Albert.  Keep posting! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is amazing! i love it, it's so beautiful. keep it up katie fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Albert.. wow. The emotion in this piece is breathtaking. You've portrayed so much pain... so much wanting and yearning to be with that special someone. Your time will come, my friend. And when it does, I will be so happy for you. The love of your life will show up somewhere very unexpected and sweep you off your feet, rest assured. I enjoyed this poem very much. This is a beautiful display of the talent you hold. Nice work, Albert. We'll talk later  --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work Albert, it might be me but I'm sure I haven't seen you post for a while so it's great to see something by you, and I really enjoyed the read Andrew "Here we are again Finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I agree with everyone on this, what an outstanding piece of work. It's a change of pace from what I'm used to reading from you, it's more emotional and personal than I would expect. It's still very, very good. I love the way you drew the angel out for the reader, without really describing it much at all. It gave a sense of desparation. Great work, Albert. You've truly impressed me. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Hey Alby! Beautiful write! It's gorgeous! The way you express your emotions in this piece...wow. And how you portray the angel...I'm impressed at you Alby! Can't wait to see the finished product!  -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Wow I loved this much!!! Great job Alberta! "If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie.. beside you as you dream, if my heart had wings." Faith Hill |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I promise I won't hurt your feelings. Anyway, it's still incomplete? Well what are you waiting for? Can you please finish it? I like it a lot! Fin-ish, fin-ish... please? Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Wow this absolutly wonderful. i totally loved this one. its most definatly going to my library. and i can't wait to see it when its complete. this was just awesome. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
aww this was so great! i loved it. keep up the good work....it was so great i loved the end! one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this brought tears to my eyes.....*sniff*.....wonderful Albert |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
Albert! This is beautiful, it's amazing, it's all the good things everyone has said times a billion. It has such a whimsical flow, it's almost lyrical. Incredible job, keep em coming! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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apsara Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70 |
This is simply spectacular. I can't wait to read the final product. Great job. apsara |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Can't wait to see the rest of the poem. BRAVO Albert ~*standing ovation*~ hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Seriously now..this poem just about blew me away...excellent...I loved it...I cant wait to read the rest.... ~Nikki~ |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
awwwwwwwwwww, ALBIE!!!!! I wuvs you hunny!!! gosh...you are a great writer...I hope this gets finished soon!! this is soooo cool!! goin in my library...I dun care if it's not done yet!!!!!!  I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
alberta!!!!! *jumps on alberta and hugs him tight* ...  ...wowowowoowowzers dude!!..  .this is the most awesome piece ive read in a long time!!.......its soooooo beautiful!!!..i LOVE it already!!.. .wowowow....youve done an amazing job with it already its truly astounding poetry ablerta..im totally blown away by it ...AGPFAGP????.....hells yeah!!....now if only my name was angel.....  ..you are a poet with amazing talent dear alberta.....just make sure you write a bit more often cuz we need more from you buddy!!!!. ...alberta...bye  "Life is not long and boring, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Ok I'm going to look like the mean guy here but I didn't like this one much. I thought it had a lot of emotion but I felt that the emotion lacked POWER. I think you can do better and add some more feeling to this. I also felt that the poem went steadily forward rather than have a beginning, a rise, and a fall....some nice conclusion. I know you can do this.... Anyhow, I liked what you have so far, and hope to see the end version of this one since it's not complete.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Albertia, so sad yet so deep at the same time. Hopefully you are feeling a bit better and if you need to talk some more, you know where to find me. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
wow this just blew my mind. it was lovely albert. i loved it. *hugs* tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” I know Im not perfect but I can smile & I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 07-03-2001).] |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Wow, Albert this was amazing! I really enjoyed it and the structure and rhythm. I cannot wait to see the polished piece - if you ever find anything wrong with it!! This was a great read. ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was outstanding. Im putting this in my libary. Regina If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
It's very nice. I liked it alot. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
heh...Just reading this one again Alberta Read my reply and thought "Man, was I on e that day?" Love what you do...Are you scared? |
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