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Teen Poetry #5
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zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180


0 posted 2001-09-15 06:35 AM


Im tumbled
my mind spins around

without you

I hear a voice in my head
  tells me that Im almost dead

without you
  
I try to raise up but my feet wont do it
I try to look out but I cant see through it

I crawl
I fall

And Im no one at all

I'm always myslef. Isn't that enough for you?

© Copyright 2001 zarina - All Rights Reserved
punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
1 posted 2001-09-15 08:13 AM


this one i really didn't get.
robin

Things I Have Learned I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in

pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
2 posted 2001-09-15 06:21 PM


i hate that feeling...seriously...i completely understand where you are coming from, or at least what it sounds like to me.  good job at getting the emotion through!  

         me

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

3 posted 2001-09-15 08:56 PM


WOW. I love this poem, even if it is a little depressing. I can really understand that feeling... it sucks.
keep up the great work though, i hope things are good for you

Sarah

*the chains which have held us are only the chains which we've made*
~jewel

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
4 posted 2001-09-16 04:10 AM


*Sits by Zarina*
I know how you feel...*sigh*
Glad someone else knows how *I* feel...Thats my fav thing about your writins, they remind me so much of whats happening in my life and mind.
Thanks for the read, It was absolutely wonderful as always.

United we stand, Divided we fall.
Never say die.

Alyssa
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Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
5 posted 2001-09-16 09:12 PM


absolutly love the last part!!!

"Its a great day tobe alive, I know the suns still shinin when I close my eyes!"
Travis Tritt

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-09-17 03:49 AM


Wow I can really connect with this. Carina, you always write so close to your heart that it drives into mine. Well done on this. It's simple but has the message loud and clear.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

~AF~

"Who needs enemies,
When you've got friends like these
Caught between me and myself again"
Motor Ace - Enemies

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