Teen Poetry #5 |
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Misguided Children |
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Poet Unknown Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140Missouri |
Stand beside myself looking at my own reflection, Seeing the hated gifts of imperfection. Everything you say to me, Makes it harder for me to see. Just like before, Lying motionless on the sea shore. Bottled up and enraged, Wild beast left uncaged. Song sings out like a gunshot, Cause it's dark and Hell is hot. If you cross my path, I'll make sure you feel my wrath. GIve and you'll receive, Cherish every breath you breathe. Scriptures on the wall, Those who Betray all Must fall. Past emotions left behind, Not trying to go back and rewind. Bloody tears trickle down my cheak, Dripping slowly down feeling weak. Everything raped and taken from me, Looking for a new place to flee. Bottled up and left enraged, A dangerous beast left uncaged... Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls |
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© Copyright 2001 Kyle - All Rights Reserved | |||
SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
ooooooooooooo i like i like i like.. hehe this is in my libary too haha before i know im going to have all of yours thier lol !~Andrea~! |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I really really like this! It describes sort of how I feel. Sugarpie313 married my poem! (that's my poem, not your poem! pooh!) |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Such a painfully emotional write... ![]() At times, I felt the rhyming was a bit forced, but that was overcome by the darkened mood. You really set that mood nicely. I like the title to this one. ![]() The first two lines were my favorite: Stand beside myself looking at my own reflection, Seeing the hated gifts of imperfection. Very profound statement that held a lot of truth. Thanks for a great read! ![]() -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Very good piece. There is only one thing that really annoyed me with it. Your meter is all out. If you try having a good flow through the entire piece, it'll read much better and won't be quite so staggered. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
OOooo I liked this one alot! Kudos to you! ![]() You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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