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Open Poetry #14
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Country music always makes me cry
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Country music always makes me cry |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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Half blue, half threatening rain, the sky, my parallel, as you and I waded up stream. Up to my knees, crystal water tugged at each step. I watched as each that measured under eight splashed into disappearance, inhaling freedom again. I chanced on red raspberries ripe and ready to fall. Such an unexpected find should have made them especially sweet, but instead of tasting I stopped and listened to the water murmur, I thought I heard it singing to me. Blue skies turned gray as the sky and I cried. Moss took my step, my knees touched bottom, I yearned for the freedom of water surging deep overhead…how peaceful it must be. How horribly guilty you will feel when you notice I am gone. After all, your insistence is the only why of my being here. You will scream down steam in a panic until I am found. I wonder, will they all wear black and will they still whisper as if I am asleep? For me they worry and seek a definition in the dictionary, though they only see the words, they fail to really see me...but me- I don't think it so serious, they obviously don't hear the music, the river was singing country music to me. gotta add.....this is not true.....I DID eat the rasberries *g* its just a poem about depression, which sadly I deal with with this crazy illness that has taken hold of my world......sigh.....oh....and I am not sure this is finished...any ideas and help would be appreciate |
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| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
There are many forms of depression ~ that you recognize yours and seek help for it is a good thing! And this is a step away from your "normal" writing, but a good stretch, much enjoyed! |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I too enjoyed this, it is extremely powerful, so much so that I am eternally grateful you added the disclaimer. May you always only contemplate what OTHERS might do and how others might deal with how they are feeling though you may, at times, feel those same things. Superbly woven, jellybeans! btw, it feels very finished to me [This message has been edited by VAS (edited 07-10-2001).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jellybean, I can only say you will make the colors run on all the jellybeans. Cheer up we all love you. Enjoyed the poem. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely written... and it took me to places I have been... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This form suits you well... the imagery you've incorporated takes the reader from whimsical outing to depths of despair as quickly as the fall from happiness so often is. *S* Very well done!!!! You just keep eating those raspberries, dear friend... and keep writing perfection. *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
suthern, cpat, seymore, VAS, decaflame, thank you...sincerely, I was very unsure of posting this, you have made me smile, after a very gray morning, your comments are just what I needed  |
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