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Open Poetry #14
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A God Defiled
| Open Poetry #14 |
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A God Defiled |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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The stained wood of a frozen face appearances of teak-- lines burnt, a starburst of tears on either cheek surface silken sanded smooth lips carved into grotesque smile romanesque nose aquiline remnant of a god defiled. The fire now but smoldered coals, beating tom toms, shadowed flight I dare to place mask on my face I dance to warm the chill of night. Oh, reality is vague, as I curse laughter as a plague - remembering his mocking grin, a sacrifice of virgin skin an offering to crown him king-- magnetic warmth to fire's sting, I offered him my everything and cried as fire died. (repost from Open 10) |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The fire now but smoldered coals, beating tom toms, shadowed flight I dare to place mask on my face I dance to warm the chill of night. Oh, reality is vague, as I curse laughter as a plague - remembering his mocking grin, a sacrifice of virgin skin an offering to crown him king-- magnetic warmth to fire's sting, I offered him my everything and cried as fire died. ============================ ahh me mystic candle dancer of rhyme divine.. this is one of my favs of yours... the imagery in this is second only to the emote laced with your gift of butter smooth rhyme  meWe're all feeding our lonely like it might go away, |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
IT is power in your words, the rawness yet subtle hints... I am ranting.. wow I do remember the first time I read this. Maybe I understand it more now, maybe not. However it is still as powerful. The last two lines hit hard. I offered him my everything and cried as fire died. "Like Sand underneath the snow, I make you mine." Kristin Hersh |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
I can say nothing more than amazing. Very well written. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah... filled with mixed symbolism... enjoyed the read..and agree the last two lines add much strength to the whole... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks JM, brian, effigy, and CH---I am going through a writer's block thing, and I tend to repost according to my mood---and this was one I did just to try to overcome that very thing...this was completely inspired by an african ceremonial mask which hangs over my desk...I just decided to write about it and let it tell me a story and this is what came out. So my gratitude, and I'm off in search of inspiration once again...love to you all. |
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