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MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

0 posted 2001-06-26 08:49 PM





I wanted to be the world
But the world is there
There
Not here
There outside my door
Beyond my windows
Where shadows dance
And linger
Where winds blow and whistle
Like some tormented singer
Where clouds gather
Then go away
And there is nothing to say
Where silence swells like a coming tide
Then draws back from all sides
Where floors creak
And whisper of the coming feet
Where sounds hush themselves
Then speak loudly of all that is said

How I knew all this
When the world is still outside?
I listen carefully
And peep
I strive to hear any coming feet
I look around
And search even the grassed grounds
For any signs
Perhaps left unnoticed
Unseen
By those who pass by

But the world remained outside
Outside my door
Beyond my windows
Far beyond my cell
My lofty majestic cell
So how can I invite it to step in?
To take its coat and sit a while?

Once, I dared to make the invitation
And boldly walked to him
I smiled and winked in laughter
In hope of tempting him
He bowed and accepted my humble invitation
And said “a cup of tea is a real temptation”
I said: “Then I’ll give you a million cup and more
just come and pass my door”
he said:“passing would be easy for me”
I replied:“No, step inside and sit awhile
you don’t know how cozy my cell can be”
I’ll light a fire in this winter chill
I know freezing can kill”
“But I’m not freezing
I’m more than warm
Fire has long consumed my heart
And burned every way
For it to get home”
“O.k. I won’t light a fire
though you look pale and blue
perhaps I’ll prepare a supper
so you might retain your perfect hue”
“But…I am the world
I should always be cold and blue
This is my original perfect hue”
“Oh, I thought you robust
strong and completely true
beautiful beyond description
and has all the perfect hues”
“Oh, I’m sorry
I seemed to give you a false impression
I deceived you though that was not my intention”
“What an admission!
The world confessing of deception!!!
Sorry but I seemed not to pay much attention
To all the signs left before
The pain inscribed on every door
The loss, the sadness, and more…
I misunderstood all hymns
Were they hymns??
Or just crying
I didn’t see the blood on the floor
The thousand broken hearts and more…
All I saw is your festive mask
The thousand coulorful pieces
And the sun
Loved but hated by everyone
The purple horizon and the dusk
And the shroud always prepared for life”

That was the only time the world stepped
Inside my door
Looked around
said his shocking words
then went
I don’t invite it anymore….
~~~~~~~~



Thank you.......

*********************

[This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 06-26-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 MyEnchanted_Melody - All Rights Reserved
rich-pa
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana
1 posted 2001-06-26 09:38 PM


you did good with the rhyme and i kinda see where you were taking this, i really dig the idea, and don't let the lack of responses fool you, this was a good poem, it has a deeper side that has to be perused and it seems no one really has the time to do that anymore...i dug it.

"freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
2 posted 2001-06-26 10:10 PM


"I wanted to be the world
But the world is there
There
Not here
There outside my door
Beyond my windows
Where shadows dance
And linger
Where winds blow and whistle
Like some tormented singer
Where clouds gather
Then go away
And there is nothing to say
Where silence swells like a coming tide
Then draws back from all sides
Where floors creak
And whisper of the coming feet
Where sounds hush themselves
Then speak loudly of all that is said"
Whoa....my friend...only wish I had written those words...among others....

I loved the flow here...and more....


jwesley

[This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 06-26-2001).]

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
3 posted 2001-06-27 12:28 PM




~rich-pa~
Thank you for reading it......and taking the time to dig into it.......

I know that people seem to be too much in a hurry to stop and really see ......I was crossing my finger hoping that some one would take the time.......and here you are..so thank you dearly for your nice comment.

=======================

~jwesley~

I'm glad that you loved it.....

Thank you dearly...
*************************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2001-06-27 03:34 AM


How sad, but don't shut that door forever, step gingerly outside once again, and who knows the sun may shine.  Loved the metaphors, and you put a lot of work into this one, it shows!  Great jobber!

"Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself."
~ Hopi ~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2001-06-27 07:41 AM


                                       "And there is nothing to say
                                  Where silence swells like a coming tide
                                     Then draws back from all sides
                                         Where floors creak
                                    And whisper of the coming feet
                                     Where sounds hush themselves
                                   Then speak loudly of all that is said"

This verse seems to lead right into the darkness of the remainder of this poem. A very deep and melancholy write. I enjoyed a couple of reads and find it to be evocative to say the least!  Great writing!

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
6 posted 2001-06-27 10:41 AM


A very intense writing, some deep soul searching, some honesty strewn throughout...

those who enjoy poetry, will be in to read...

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
7 posted 2001-06-27 02:33 PM




~Mysteria~

Yeah.......I guess it is sad but it carries some truth.
I hope I'd step one day outside again
and find something to gain......

Thank you dear for such a nice comment and for reading......

=================

~ethome~
I find these verses haunting......glad you caught them though.

I'm glad that you have enjoyed it.....

Thank you dearly.....

======================
~ Lady in White~

Thank you for such a nice comment.....

Take care......

************************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-06-27 07:22 PM


there are just too many words to describe this. . . searching, finding, sad, melancholy. . . just a lot of feelings and emotions that are on display here. . .

you've managed to reach out again, and to ask the reader if they could find that part of you that you've shut out from the world. . . if they hold the key to that door that you closed long ago. . .

and your flow and depth again show here as well. . . as Lady in White said, for those the enjoy poetry, they will enjoy this greatly. . .

well done. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------


To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
9 posted 2001-06-27 10:48 PM




Dear ~Sven~

Wow.....you have certainly looked beyond the simple doors.......dug deeply into the lines and made me thrilled that you have enjoyed it all......that I've reached out and that the lines evoke alot.......Thank you

As for the key.......well, that is a mystery.....  

Thank you for taking the time to read deeply....
Take care.....
****************************


It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2001-06-28 01:22 PM


I like this very much, MEM... It certainly doesn't lend itself to a quick read, but it's well worth the time it took to go slow and savor. *S* I've sometimes been denounced for being too much a hermit... your poem touches me deeply... Well done!
MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
11 posted 2001-06-28 09:11 PM




~suthern~

I am certainly glad that you have enjoyed it ......
It really thrills me that some people really took the time to read it ....
and savor it........ and that it can reach deeply and touch people.

A hermit!.....I, at times, wonder if it isn't a better choice......

Thank you dearly.....take care.....
*****************************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

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