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{{ To Be The World }}
| Open Poetry #14 |
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{{ To Be The World }} |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
I wanted to be the world But the world is there There Not here There outside my door Beyond my windows Where shadows dance And linger Where winds blow and whistle Like some tormented singer Where clouds gather Then go away And there is nothing to say Where silence swells like a coming tide Then draws back from all sides Where floors creak And whisper of the coming feet Where sounds hush themselves Then speak loudly of all that is said How I knew all this When the world is still outside? I listen carefully And peep I strive to hear any coming feet I look around And search even the grassed grounds For any signs Perhaps left unnoticed Unseen By those who pass by But the world remained outside Outside my door Beyond my windows Far beyond my cell My lofty majestic cell So how can I invite it to step in? To take its coat and sit a while? Once, I dared to make the invitation And boldly walked to him I smiled and winked in laughter In hope of tempting him He bowed and accepted my humble invitation And said “a cup of tea is a real temptation” I said: “Then I’ll give you a million cup and more just come and pass my door” he said:“passing would be easy for me” I replied:“No, step inside and sit awhile you don’t know how cozy my cell can be” I’ll light a fire in this winter chill I know freezing can kill” “But I’m not freezing I’m more than warm Fire has long consumed my heart And burned every way For it to get home” “O.k. I won’t light a fire though you look pale and blue perhaps I’ll prepare a supper so you might retain your perfect hue” “But…I am the world I should always be cold and blue This is my original perfect hue” “Oh, I thought you robust strong and completely true beautiful beyond description and has all the perfect hues” “Oh, I’m sorry I seemed to give you a false impression I deceived you though that was not my intention” “What an admission! The world confessing of deception!!! Sorry but I seemed not to pay much attention To all the signs left before The pain inscribed on every door The loss, the sadness, and more… I misunderstood all hymns Were they hymns?? Or just crying I didn’t see the blood on the floor The thousand broken hearts and more… All I saw is your festive mask The thousand coulorful pieces And the sun Loved but hated by everyone The purple horizon and the dusk And the shroud always prepared for life” That was the only time the world stepped Inside my door Looked around said his shocking words then went I don’t invite it anymore…. ~~~~~~~~ Thank you....... ********************* [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
you did good with the rhyme and i kinda see where you were taking this, i really dig the idea, and don't let the lack of responses fool you, this was a good poem, it has a deeper side that has to be perused and it seems no one really has the time to do that anymore...i dug it. "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
"I wanted to be the world But the world is there There Not here There outside my door Beyond my windows Where shadows dance And linger Where winds blow and whistle Like some tormented singer Where clouds gather Then go away And there is nothing to say Where silence swells like a coming tide Then draws back from all sides Where floors creak And whisper of the coming feet Where sounds hush themselves Then speak loudly of all that is said" Whoa....my friend...only wish I had written those words...among others.... I loved the flow here...and more.... jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
~rich-pa~ Thank you for reading it......and taking the time to dig into it....... I know that people seem to be too much in a hurry to stop and really see ......I was crossing my finger hoping that some one would take the time.......and here you are..so thank you dearly for your nice comment. ======================= ~jwesley~ I'm glad that you loved it..... Thank you dearly...  ************************* It's only me.......only me |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
How sad, but don't shut that door forever, step gingerly outside once again, and who knows the sun may shine. Loved the metaphors, and you put a lot of work into this one, it shows! Great jobber! "Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself." |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
"And there is nothing to say Where silence swells like a coming tide Then draws back from all sides Where floors creak And whisper of the coming feet Where sounds hush themselves Then speak loudly of all that is said" This verse seems to lead right into the darkness of the remainder of this poem. A very deep and melancholy write. I enjoyed a couple of reads and find it to be evocative to say the least! Great writing! |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
A very intense writing, some deep soul searching, some honesty strewn throughout... those who enjoy poetry, will be in to read... |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
~Mysteria~ Yeah.......I guess it is sad but it carries some truth. I hope I'd step one day outside again and find something to gain...... Thank you dear for such a nice comment and for reading......  ================= ~ethome~ I find these verses haunting......glad you caught them though. I'm glad that you have enjoyed it..... Thank you dearly..... ====================== ~ Lady in White~ Thank you for such a nice comment..... Take care...... ************************ It's only me.......only me |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
there are just too many words to describe this. . . searching, finding, sad, melancholy. . . just a lot of feelings and emotions that are on display here. . . you've managed to reach out again, and to ask the reader if they could find that part of you that you've shut out from the world. . . if they hold the key to that door that you closed long ago. . . and your flow and depth again show here as well. . . as Lady in White said, for those the enjoy poetry, they will enjoy this greatly. . . well done. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Dear ~Sven~ Wow.....you have certainly looked beyond the simple doors.......dug deeply into the lines and made me thrilled that you have enjoyed it all......that I've reached out and that the lines evoke alot.......Thank you As for the key.......well, that is a mystery.....  Thank you for taking the time to read deeply.... Take care..... **************************** It's only me.......only me |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this very much, MEM... It certainly doesn't lend itself to a quick read, but it's well worth the time it took to go slow and savor. *S* I've sometimes been denounced for being too much a hermit... your poem touches me deeply... Well done! |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
~suthern~ I am certainly glad that you have enjoyed it ...... It really thrills me that some people really took the time to read it .... and savor it........ and that it can reach deeply and touch people. A hermit!.....I, at times, wonder if it isn't a better choice...... Thank you dearly.....take care..... ***************************** It's only me.......only me |
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