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Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-06-26 07:22 PM

by the light of the moon
in the hours just before dawn
I want you to awaken as I
gently rouse you from dreams of love

follow me, I say to you in quiet tones
leading you softly from our soft bed
across the house and into the night
holding your hand in mine as we walk

why are we going outside? you ask sleepily
you'll soon see, I tell you, my hand on the knob
close your eyes, I say as I gently touch your lids
and lead your steps out the door

as we step into the night, a cool breeze blows
flowing across the ground like a gentle breath
open your eyes, I say in excited tones, and look
you open your eyes, and there it is

set like a diamond in a sky of indigo blue
the star shone with such brilliance, you were amazed
what star is that? you asked quietly
almost afraid to disturb the silence around us

that is your star my love, I said as I held you closer
the Star of the Angels, brightest in all of night's skies
I explained to you how the Star was created by love
and that only the truest of lovers could partake of its beauty

I told you how I saw it the night before
when I was apart from you, missing you, loving you
and how the star shone to me
and how I learned the story of its being

and now my love, I give this star to you
the gift of my life to your heart of love
for as there is none brighter in the sky
than the Star of the Angels
so too in my life has there never been a lover
as bright as you. . .

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

1 posted 2001-06-26 08:09 PM

and now my love, I give this star to you
the gift of my life to your heart of love
for as there is none brighter in the sky
than the Star of the Angels
so too in my life has there never been a lover
as bright as you. . .

-=================

Wow....Sven.......this is soooooo beautiful.

But what's wrong with you people here today ........all touching my heart beyond my own words.......or is it simply me?!!!

Thank you my friend.....
****************************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

Mother_Earth
Senior Member

since 2000-11-20

Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan

2 posted 2001-06-26 08:19 PM

Sven this is beautiful and I hope it all comes true for you. Hugs, ME

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

3 posted 2001-06-26 08:27 PM

Sven, *soft sigh* this is so wonderful, so touching. You've spoken words in your poem that this heart understands, thank you for sharing!

*smiles*

~Tier

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

4 posted 2001-06-26 09:04 PM

I like it, John. I have a suggestion though, and you can just smack me if you need me to shut up. I'll duck though.

I think quotation marks rather than italics would be better where your dialogue is.
*Jenn ducks and wonders*

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2001-06-26 09:11 PM

I think you've outdone your self Sven. Very, very nice! And, while quotation marks do set off 'speech', I see where you're coming from and think the italics are just fine. There are times when the speech should not dominate and quotation marks (and I guess italics to a lesser degree) only serve to emphise that dominance. I probalby would not have set it off either way but just let it merge with the piece. Your way's fine though, and Temptress is right too.

Poetic license...right???

Great piece.

jwesley

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

6 posted 2001-06-26 09:24 PM

Sigh, Sven, you just took me back thirty seven years, when I showed my wife-to-be, our star, and gave her a star sapphire to wear around her neck to always remember..Thank you my friend for these words..gentle smile

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

7 posted 2001-06-26 09:31 PM

Sir, the ink that filled your pen must of come straight from your heart.

Your words are filled with beauty.
Somewhere out there, a star is shining just waiting for you.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

8 posted 2001-06-26 10:17 PM

Romance at its peak! Lucky lady to have such a night time walk with her love.
S

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2001-06-27 07:31 PM

Enchanted Melody, it's not just you. . .

thank you my friend. . .

ME, I hope so too. . . thank you for reading. . .

Tier, I'm glad that I could speak to your heart. . . thank you. . .

Temptress, I thought about quotation marks. . . but, I'm still not sure. . .thanks for the suggestion!!!

James, poetic license indeed. . .thank you my friend. . .

Logan, thank you my friend for letting me take you back. . .

inot2b, no. . . just me. . .

. . . thank you though. . . and I hope that you're right. . .

Sandra, I've been missing the Romance, what can I say??

thank you . . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Caroline7
New Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 8
Florida, USA

10 posted 2001-06-27 10:19 PM

Hi Sven,
What a beautiful, romantic poem!
I loved it.

Caroline..

Sometimes when you don't get what you want, you find what you did'nt know you wanted..

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

11 posted 2001-06-27 10:25 PM

Oh you truly are the romantic one Sven ... beautiful sentiments and story, much enjoyed my friend!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

12 posted 2001-06-27 10:27 PM

Ah! The romance of the Sven Pen - so lovely

I'm saving this one in my library~

Take care,
Melissa~

Nate Dogg
Senior Member

since 1999-11-15

Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

13 posted 2001-06-27 11:47 PM

This is so beautiful and captivating Sven.....an awesome write...thanks for sharing my friend!!

Nathan

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

14 posted 2001-06-28 12:44 PM

Gorgeous sven..written like the true poet you are..

~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

Pablo Picasso

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

15 posted 2001-06-28 01:12 AM

This was absolutely so romantic, and lovely, I can't say I have read anything as nice in a long time, enjoyed!

"Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself."
~ Hopi ~

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

16 posted 2001-06-28 01:24 PM

Caroline, thank you. . . glad that you enjoyed. . .

Kit, thank you my friend. . . that would be me, the Romantic one. . .

Melissa, thank you. . . I'm honored to be included in your library. . .

Nate, thanks for reading my friend!!

Victoria, thank you. . . I'm humbled by your words. . .

Mysteria, by your words as well . . .

. . . thank you for reading, and I'm glad that you enjoyed. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

17 posted 2001-06-28 01:32 PM

To be given a star... That would definitely be worth waking up for! *G* This is beautiful, Sven. *S*

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

18 posted 2001-06-28 01:43 PM

very nice..romantic and filled with such love... enjoyed Sven...

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

19 posted 2001-06-28 01:58 PM

Whoa my friend. You have a terminal case if ever I saw one. Good for you!
============
When I first read the title I thought you were going to write about the Dallas Stars and Anaheim Angels and I said to my self ... how do you put those together. Then I opened my eyes and read it again.
===============
Beautiful, heartfelt piece for a lucky gal from a luck guy.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

20 posted 2001-06-28 02:00 PM

                "as we step into the night, a cool breeze blows
                 flowing across the ground like a gentle breath
                 open your eyes, I say in excited tones, and look
                 you open your eyes, and there it is

                 set like a diamond in a sky of indigo blue
                 the star shone with such brilliance, you were amazed
                 what star is that? you asked quietly
                 almost afraid to disturb the silence around us"

Beautiful poetry. You are smooth and silky with a heart!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

21 posted 2001-06-28 02:05 PM

awww, Sven - you dirty dog! You raise the bar even more. When are you gonna give us scalawags a chance to get some female sighs? eh? Great poem, BTW.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

22 posted 2001-06-29 01:15 PM

suthern, it's a gift that lasts forever. . . and the fact that you can really do it, just makes it all the more special. . . thank you. . .

Capt Hair, that's me. . .I'm the Silly, Romantic one. . . thank you. . .

Interloper, terminal just doesn't begin to describe it. . . LOL. . . thank you. . .

ethome, I thought that I told you that I wasn't smooth?? LOL Thank you my friend. . .

LngJhn, I think Sir, that you can get plenty of female sighs on your own. . .

welcome back Sir!!

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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