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Open Poetry #14
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Alwye
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 2001-06-23 10:51 PM


Dry, breathless rage
Clamors upward
In heated strain
Through these veins--
Red-winged thoughts
Simmer on my temples
And throw themselves
In violent circles
Within my soul...

And then the ruby edges
Soften into pink
As anger fades--
A cooling catacomb remains
Housing whispers
Of wishfully forgotten memory
Within it’s crevices--
Until the hauntings
Of the past
--Rage--
Once more.

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

© Copyright 2001 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 2001-06-23 11:25 PM


Very descriptive.....a nice way to portray a dimming anger. Well done!
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
2 posted 2001-06-23 11:30 PM


Alwye-
   1, 2, 3, 4....7.....10...there
   i feel much better now...lol.  

   ok...all kidding aside...this is
   very good...you've done a great
   job of penning these emotions.
   with a little time, anger will
   fade, and you'll be left with
   a clearer view of things.
   very nice write...

   hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
3 posted 2001-06-23 11:41 PM


A wonderful poem Krissa, it's nice to see some writing from you again!  

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today"
~Broadway Musical RENT~

*Cassandra Roseen*


Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
4 posted 2001-06-23 11:45 PM



Wow! You take this universal emotion to new heights   this is so full of that "beyond your years" imagery that I love about your poetry~

Take care,
Melissa~

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-06-24 02:16 AM


I loved this poem, and your writing was excellent.  I will watch for more, and thank you.

~*~ Tell someone you love them today, as tomorrow may never come ~*~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2001-06-24 05:15 AM


Oh wonderful work Krista, I like it very much.. and the description excellent.

Until the hauntings
Of the past
--Rage--
Once more.


Let's hope not ey!

Maree


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2001-06-24 06:28 AM


"Red-winged thoughts
Simmer on my temples"

Wonderful imagery and flow Krista!  Vivid description and excellent phrasing, much enjoyed!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
8 posted 2001-06-24 04:27 PM


A great depiction of how the past haunts us nad literally controls our emotion at times.  Strong words, as always, Krista.
Michael

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2001-06-24 04:36 PM


Krista! How often do we take the time to really see our Rage in full fledged Technicolor...!

Well done!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2001-06-24 04:47 PM


Alwye,
Good words, good phrases, good poem.

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

11 posted 2001-06-24 04:57 PM


Alwye....nicely vented. Bob
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
12 posted 2001-06-24 09:42 PM


Thank you all so much for the replies, I've had a rough poetry-writer's block lately so it was great to get this out.  

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
13 posted 2001-06-24 11:07 PM


Wonderfully written poem, I love your images, especially of the fading rage,

"A cooling catacomb remainds
Housing whispers
Of wishfully forgotten memory


Those lines ring especially well in my mind. Rage pumping wildly through your veins and then "throwing themselves in violent circles" and draining out of you and leaving empty catacombs *shivers*, perfect! I also love you made that final ~Rage~ stand out, how even though the caverns are empty the anger still rings in there.

Loved this poem, excellent portrayal of anger and it's departure  

"They that start by burning books will end by burning men." -- Heinrich Heine

Fancy
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 189
TN/USA
14 posted 2001-06-24 11:57 PM


...very well said...

"...don't ever stop loving, don't ever stop believing, don't ever stop dreaming your dreams..."
Warmly...
Fancy

Silkdragon
Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 65

15 posted 2001-08-12 10:47 PM


Another very nice one.  This really is one of the truest and most interesting descriptions of intense anger that I've heard.  I really liked how you worded these lines:

Red-winged thoughts
Simmer on my temples

Brings to mind the image of the veins and such.  This is very well done, I'm impressed.

Erin

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