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Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

0 posted 2001-06-17 12:51 PM

In a pitiful state

A rose is forlorn
in the garden of friendship
when pricked by silence

Dark Angel
17/6/01

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

1 posted 2001-06-17 12:53 PM

shhhhhhhhhhh! this is great it was spookily great o yuh

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

2 posted 2001-06-17 12:55 PM

"When pricked by silence" -- what an utterly powerful line there, Maree. Wonderful work, you've done an excellent job portraying how silence can shatter friendship. Keep up the great poetry, I love to read my friend.

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

3 posted 2001-06-17 01:08 AM

Very good pondering material stated with no more words than necessary, very lovely..gentle smile

Eye
Junior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 28
Outside Looking In

4 posted 2001-06-17 02:05 AM

Excellent use of metaphor in minimalism. This is very well done. I compliment you.

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

5 posted 2001-06-17 03:28 AM

Dark Angel---Wonderful Senryu, nicely written.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

6 posted 2001-06-17 06:08 AM

Well hon...

love the last line..the whole thing really. Sometimes what we think is silence...is really a time of waiting no?

Adjusting...

beautiful work my friend.

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-17-2001).]

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

7 posted 2001-06-17 06:42 AM

Yes I can see that being the case mataphorically! Well done!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

8 posted 2001-06-17 06:47 AM

So much thruth in so few words.
Just PERFECT.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. [URL=http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100
]htt

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 2001-06-17 12:32 PM

DarkAngel~
That's a sad little write, sweetie.
Here's wishing the rose blooms anew !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Fancy
Member

since 2001-06-05

Posts 189
TN/USA

10 posted 2001-06-17 02:27 PM

...I love this...but somehow know that silence is your best friend when stacked up against prickly words that sting and fester the heart...

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