navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » In a pitiful state
Open Poetry #14
Post A Reply Post New Topic In a pitiful state Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2001-06-17 12:51 PM



In a pitiful state


A rose is forlorn
in the garden of friendship
when pricked by silence


Dark Angel
17/6/01



© Copyright 2001 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2001-06-17 12:53 PM


shhhhhhhhhhh! this is great it was spookily great o yuh
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
2 posted 2001-06-17 12:55 PM


"When pricked by silence" -- what an utterly powerful line there, Maree.  Wonderful work, you've done an excellent job portraying how silence can shatter friendship.  Keep up the great poetry, I love to read my friend.  

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
3 posted 2001-06-17 01:08 AM


Very good pondering material stated with no more words than necessary, very lovely..gentle smile
Eye
Junior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 28
Outside Looking In
4 posted 2001-06-17 02:05 AM


Excellent use of metaphor in minimalism. This is very well done. I compliment you.
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-06-17 03:28 AM


Dark Angel---Wonderful Senryu, nicely written.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

6 posted 2001-06-17 06:08 AM


Well hon...

love the last line..the whole thing really. Sometimes what we think is silence...is really a time of waiting no?

Adjusting...

beautiful work my friend.

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-17-2001).]

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2001-06-17 06:42 AM


Yes I can see that being the case mataphorically!    Well done!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
8 posted 2001-06-17 06:47 AM


So much thruth in so few words.
Just PERFECT.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. [URL=http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100
]htt

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2001-06-17 12:32 PM


DarkAngel~
That's a sad little write, sweetie.
Here's wishing the rose blooms anew !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Fancy
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 189
TN/USA
10 posted 2001-06-17 02:27 PM


...I love this...but somehow know that silence is your best friend when stacked up against prickly words that sting and fester the heart...
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » In a pitiful state

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary