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catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2001-06-15 09:52 PM

Pieces of what used to be
a fine place of architectural splendor
lie abandoned in sordid piles
of grafitti spewn reality.
Apparently there is a bonding material
that has degenerated
and more pieces fall.
Soon nothing will be left
but a hollow shell once filled with love
many eons ago.
Just an empty building with no one home
standing in ruins
on the wrong street, in the wrong town,
on a shaky foundation
waiting for a wayward wind to
blow it down.

FireDancer123
Junior Member

since 2001-06-14

Posts 43
Virginia

1 posted 2001-06-15 11:02 PM

first it made me think berin wall.. then broken family.. then old and once loved building.. emotion. I loved it.
::write forever::

"If you've never stared off into the distance, then your life is a shame." - A.Duritz
"Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die." - Dave Matthews

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

2 posted 2001-06-15 11:05 PM

Apparently there is a bonding material
that has degenerated
and more pieces fall.
Soon nothing will be left
but a hollow shell once filled with love

Ahh, is not the bonding material, the love itself? When the love leaves, the house dies. I love your prospective of this one, nicely done...gentle smile, Sandra

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

3 posted 2001-06-15 11:12 PM

yipe whoosh,,,did i do that? effective poem yuh

Eye
Junior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 28
Outside Looking In

4 posted 2001-06-15 11:16 PM

This is quite good. You pull the reader in and do not release until the final word. Both objective and subjective this is a fine piece of writing. Not to mention great imagery and metaphor use- Really Good.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2001-06-16 04:55 PM

great poem Sandra. . . this has a wonderful flow to it and I like the idea that you've used here. . .

and it really speaks to me. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-06-16 06:31 PM

vivid portrayal of loss I feel.

"This rose has seen red, I have been blue
I'm going to Ireland in 2002!" Kathleen.

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