Open Poetry #14 |
Dance with Me |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dance with Me See these naked eyes reflect that last silken turn the one where your hand reached the hallow in the small of my back and pulled me across forever I would go where the lights weep color and spray their dots across brown arms and white dresses and the song is a love song love me baby say the words as you turn your dappled ear against my mouth and it is like chocolate has tempted my tongue with the delight of you Take me to the balcony under the down sky and we will make a warm place on cement steps and music will glance at us and compose itself Dance with me |
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© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...and music will glance at us and compose itself... YES! |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
Beautiful! Where music will compose itself... What a wonderful fantasy! Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... [This message has been edited by azblond (edited 06-06-2001).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ You ARE amazing ! ! It's no wonder you dance ... you sweep us all off our feet with such beautiful 'music' ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh, very nice Martie, and I am sure it was as the song..Save the last dance for me...gentle smile, very nice |
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Tovi Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168 |
This is excellent. Very individual. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Martie, Only you can compose such lines This is wonderully delicious AS always,perfection Liz |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Martie . To re-state what I have said before , your's is a rather unique talent , to bridge the gap between free verse and some of the older forms . Maybe it's just me ( but I don't think so ). Thanks for this . Doc |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
See these naked eyes reflect that last silken turn the one where your hand reached the hallow in the small of my back and pulled me across forever I would go where the lights weep color and spray their dots across brown arms and white dresses ================================= Take me to the balcony under the down sky and we will make a warm place on cement steps and music will glance at us and compose itself ========================== THIS is what I was talking about.. the way you turn a phrase and define an image and its always poetically perfect and never cliche' you are free verse at its finest inspire.. I dont know how you do it... just please dont ever stop me |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Not only do you have images like no one else, they take to that place in time where I saw them like this one: I would go where the lights weep color and spray their dots across brown arms and white dresses ah, do I remember this well, but could I have said it like that? Not in a million years! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"and music will glance at us and compose itself" Beautiful phrasing Martie ... lyrical and delicately woven, much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Wonderfull!! nicely written! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
you have written one of the most creative phrases I have ever read. Everybody else has commented on it, and rightly so. SUPERB! =========================== and music will glance at us and compose itself =========================== |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Martie, I am speechless, "the lights weep color" I am totally speechless, this is amazing original verse. This is one of my favorites from you and that ain't easy to choose! Kathleen Blake |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
martie- wow am i glad i got to read this gem! this is very sensual, very romantic. lovely writing my friend, just lovely!! take care amy p.s. good seeing you! "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Martie you are amazing the way you think like a poet! When I read your words I just keep thinking back to somewhere I was dreaming about these beauties you write and you were there........................... "and pulled me across forever." |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
"and the music will glance at us and compose itself" What a lovely line, Martie. Michael Proust- |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
and the band play as two lovers dance, beautiful. "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thank you all for dancing with me! |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
sorry......Repeated by mistake ************************ It's only me.......only me I hope that would suffice eternally {{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}} [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 06-07-2001).] |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
"and music will glance at us and compose itself" --------------- and all sounds will hush themselves and the world would be no more..... --------------- Lovely......thank you for a poem that dances softly over the page ******************** It's only me.......only me |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Martie, this is just absolutely stunning writing. It is eloquent in it's beauty!! I gotta tuck this into my library. so beautiful......*s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
i am so happy i didnt miss this one it is so amazing |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Martie, this is sooooooo beautiful!! |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I'm glad I found this little treasure....dreamy words. Beautiful Martie!! Bridgette |
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