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Open Poetry #14
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Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-06-04 07:35 PM


Storming Within and Out

Storm

in gray cloud the storm
comes in, awashing all in gray of sin
a come of cloud and rain this day
awash of thunder
clouds obey

soft at first the rain on wood
and whish a sound of cotton should
remind me of the grays gone by
and lo my ears hear oceans sigh

build and slow the oceans wave
soft and grow the sounds I crave
lo and behold the me I would be
if I were of thunderous brave

whoosh the rain on cotton’s leaves
would allow me again to believe
that all the ways I choose to grieve
would come instant, spend my leave

slow the thunder grows to wake
and no in cumber my noisome makes
but lo this heart of quiet takes
a break, a gap in thunder’s quake

I hold, in hand, this horn of shell
outside the break in thunder’s quell
to my ear, I heed the seed
and dream of beach, and of my greed


© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-06-04 08:02 PM


whoosh the rain on cotton’s leaves
would allow me again to believe
that all the ways I choose to grieve
would come instant, spend my leave

slow the thunder grows to wake
and no in cumber my noisome makes
but lo this heart of quiet takes
a break, a gap in thunder’s quake

I hold, in hand, this horn of shell
outside the break in thunder’s quell
to my ear, I heed the seed
and dream of beach, and of my greed
========================

oh yes.. this one likes me as much as I like it...I think it will be following me home  
very very cool write.(rhyme divine)

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

theLadypoet
Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 97
Or USA
2 posted 2001-06-04 08:08 PM


Oh, my this poem sang to me.
Lovely images...made me think of
rain filtering through a forest
and dropping like dew...***sigh***
I do believe I shall need to learn
how to use the library.
I can smell the damp musk of
the forest floor.

theLadypoet

"A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water..." Eleanor Rooevelt

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
3 posted 2001-06-04 08:10 PM


Love your poem Sunshine

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2001-06-04 08:30 PM


Wonderful. I esp. liked the finale.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
5 posted 2001-06-04 09:34 PM


Sunshine, gentle smile,,so very nice, a wonderful blend of woods and sea that you did so delightfully
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2001-06-05 03:35 AM


Aye, aye, Captain, you sailed me right along with you on this voyage full of images, and feelings, wonderful!

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them ~*~

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
7 posted 2001-06-05 01:46 PM


I also enjoy rhyme done well, as this certainly is.  Very nice!

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2001-06-05 02:02 PM


very nicely done... reminded me of one I had written many storms ago..

"Storm Clouds"
I wish...
for storm clouds,
their blue black canopy
hiding me from harsh heat.

Lightnings baton, striking
the downbeat while
standing hair on end
with static expectations.

Thunder's tympanic symphony
felt inside, as if I were
window glass rattling
in a loose frame.

Trees’ bowing to wind’s music
before a curtain call of
raindrops and hailstones
that play staccato rhythms
on parched soil.

I wish for storms,
like the one in my heart,
since I met you.
Storms can indeed be poetic....

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
9 posted 2001-06-05 02:11 PM


Love the flow and feeling of this storm.  Excellent writing.

PM

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-06-05 02:13 PM


I enjoyed this one.  You have captured the power of the storm well.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2001-06-05 03:53 PM


slow the thunder grows to wake
and no in cumber my noisome makes
but lo this heart of quiet takes
a break, a gap in thunder’s quake


Karilea, beautiful write.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2001-06-05 04:02 PM


WOW!!! A marvelous voice in this marvelous poem! Storms are full of so much inspiration to me, thunder can be a rumble of determination within sorrow, a lightning bolt being a spark of hope, a harbinger of joy to come, and the rain cleansing the pain away, on;y leaving residue of forlorn memories. I lost myself in the vibrant vision of this, it is definitely a must-keep! I love it! You have such a beautiful heart, dear friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

13 posted 2001-06-05 08:22 PM


I could feel the storms, Karilea. Excellent writing!
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2001-06-05 11:35 PM


Wonderfully written, Karilea!
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 2001-06-05 11:44 PM


Yes, indeed....
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
16 posted 2001-06-06 06:41 AM


Superb writing, my friend...

Regards O Karilea,
Sudhir

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2001-06-17 08:56 AM


Wow.....you folks blow me away with your responses....

thank you ALL so very much!

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