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Open Poetry #13
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-04-04 03:41 AM



Just this now
a fantasy
visionary
lucid dream
everything
I've yet to be
and all remains
of "x-y-z..."

I could spend
ten years in pass
in deepest wish
of slipper's glass
chanting to a bonfire lit
in prayer of one last slipper's fit.

I have danced with kings, enthralled,
my shadows played upon the walls.
Candles splay in sconce's splash--
against the brick in shadow's ash.

All the jesters
danced for me.
All the maidens
laughed with me.
All my silences
within?
Became refrain's
"begin again..."

Each river that dared
stain my cheek?
Luna's tear---
the lover's greet.
Every breath I do not breathe,
each breath expelled-expectancy--
fill my lungs with air once more
to sing the tunes I once foreswore.

Lyric in a rusty pen.
Refrain---let's sing it once again.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2001-04-04 03:49 AM


I absolutely adores this poem and the insight within is incredible, I particularly loved your words here, perhaps because I have also wasted time waiting for a slipper:

I could spend
ten years in pass
in deepest wish
of slipper's glass
chanting to a bonfire lit
in prayer of one last slipper's fit.

Great job!  I loved it.


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2001-04-04 03:49 AM


I have danced with kings, enthralled,
my shadows played upon the walls.
Candles splay in sconce's splash--
against the brick in shadow's ash
....

Ah Serene One, this is a fantastic poem...

regards,
Sudhir

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

3 posted 2001-04-04 04:30 AM


Karen gets a hushed 'wow' from K...

amazing...

K

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-04-04 04:55 AM


lovely lines in this one.....
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-04-05 09:16 AM


I could spend
ten years in pass
in deepest wish
of slipper's glass
chanting to a bonfire lit
in prayer of one last slipper's fit.

I have danced with kings, enthralled,
my shadows played upon the walls.
Candles splay in sconce's splash--
against the brick in shadow's ash.
===========================
All my silences
within?
Became refrain's
"begin again..."

Each river that dared
stain my cheek?
Luna's tear---
the lover's greet.
Every breath I do not breathe,
each breath expelled-expectancy--
fill my lungs with air once more
to sing the tunes I once foreswore.

Lyric in a rusty pen.
Refrain---let's sing it once again.
==============================

Unrequited defined in rhyme divine ...
so many mirrors ... more reflections I wish i didnt recognize

"Every breath I do not breathe,
each breath expelled-expectancy--"

*sigh* me

It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me
As if you know how it feels to never be who you wanted to be
~jackson browne~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2001-04-05 09:21 AM


Serenity~ This is just incredible......loved this    SEA
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
7 posted 2001-04-05 09:25 AM


Your poems always hit the spot serenity. They never disappoint, and I still wonder how you keep doing it.
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
8 posted 2001-04-05 10:07 AM


Serenity, each step of the way, never refrain, awesome poem, keep it coming.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2001-04-05 10:19 AM




Submit.
Do you think I like it? Yes I do!!

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-04-05 12:35 PM


Oh this one flows like a cool river in the middle of summer.  Refreshing to read!!  This was fabulous!!  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2001-04-05 01:07 PM


Thanks to all! and Sharon? I knew you were gonna say that   ...this was not quite as "Goth" as I was trying for---but I guess this one just wanted to be what it is!

I appreciate all of your generous comments very much. Thank you all for warming my heart like that!

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

12 posted 2001-04-05 01:18 PM


All the jesters
danced for me.
All the maidens
laughed with me.
All my silences
within?
Became refrain's
"begin again...


Fantastic writing Serenity I especially adored the above quote from your poem  
Thank you sweetie for this treat of a read

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
13 posted 2001-04-05 02:22 PM


Every breath I do not breathe,
each breath expelled-expectancy--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beautiful, lovely, captivating.

More, please.

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
14 posted 2001-04-05 02:39 PM


Excellent writing, Serenity...I really like this....perhaps, I'll put this in my library....peace!

Nathan

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
15 posted 2001-04-05 04:14 PM


K said it best K, k?
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
16 posted 2001-04-05 04:39 PM



Just wow - excellent emotion/phrasing in this, can you believe that I read it a day ago, but could not reply because I had to ingest your words for a while, even now, I have read it 3 times, and wow, that's all my head can think of  

Take care,
Melissa~

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

17 posted 2002-02-24 03:29 AM


Serenity, I was peaking around and re-read this one of your's that always seems2touch a place in me and so I revisit you again and place this thread in2 my library4keepz
*~coco~*

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