Open Poetry #13 |
Refrain |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Just this now a fantasy visionary lucid dream everything I've yet to be and all remains of "x-y-z..." I could spend ten years in pass in deepest wish of slipper's glass chanting to a bonfire lit in prayer of one last slipper's fit. I have danced with kings, enthralled, my shadows played upon the walls. Candles splay in sconce's splash-- against the brick in shadow's ash. All the jesters danced for me. All the maidens laughed with me. All my silences within? Became refrain's "begin again..." Each river that dared stain my cheek? Luna's tear--- the lover's greet. Every breath I do not breathe, each breath expelled-expectancy-- fill my lungs with air once more to sing the tunes I once foreswore. Lyric in a rusty pen. Refrain---let's sing it once again. |
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© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I absolutely adores this poem and the insight within is incredible, I particularly loved your words here, perhaps because I have also wasted time waiting for a slipper: I could spend ten years in pass in deepest wish of slipper's glass chanting to a bonfire lit in prayer of one last slipper's fit. Great job! I loved it. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I have danced with kings, enthralled, my shadows played upon the walls. Candles splay in sconce's splash-- against the brick in shadow's ash .... Ah Serene One, this is a fantastic poem... regards, Sudhir |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Karen gets a hushed 'wow' from K... amazing... K |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
lovely lines in this one..... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I could spend ten years in pass in deepest wish of slipper's glass chanting to a bonfire lit in prayer of one last slipper's fit. I have danced with kings, enthralled, my shadows played upon the walls. Candles splay in sconce's splash-- against the brick in shadow's ash. =========================== All my silences within? Became refrain's "begin again..." Each river that dared stain my cheek? Luna's tear--- the lover's greet. Every breath I do not breathe, each breath expelled-expectancy-- fill my lungs with air once more to sing the tunes I once foreswore. Lyric in a rusty pen. Refrain---let's sing it once again. ============================== Unrequited defined in rhyme divine ... so many mirrors ... more reflections I wish i didnt recognize "Every breath I do not breathe, each breath expelled-expectancy--" *sigh* me It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity~ This is just incredible......loved this SEA |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Your poems always hit the spot serenity. They never disappoint, and I still wonder how you keep doing it. |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Serenity, each step of the way, never refrain, awesome poem, keep it coming. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Submit. Do you think I like it? Yes I do!! |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Oh this one flows like a cool river in the middle of summer. Refreshing to read!! This was fabulous!! All writing comes |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks to all! and Sharon? I knew you were gonna say that ...this was not quite as "Goth" as I was trying for---but I guess this one just wanted to be what it is! I appreciate all of your generous comments very much. Thank you all for warming my heart like that! |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
All the jesters danced for me. All the maidens laughed with me. All my silences within? Became refrain's "begin again... Fantastic writing Serenity I especially adored the above quote from your poem Thank you sweetie for this treat of a read |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Every breath I do not breathe, each breath expelled-expectancy-- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Beautiful, lovely, captivating. More, please. Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Excellent writing, Serenity...I really like this....perhaps, I'll put this in my library....peace! Nathan |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
K said it best K, k? |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Just wow - excellent emotion/phrasing in this, can you believe that I read it a day ago, but could not reply because I had to ingest your words for a while, even now, I have read it 3 times, and wow, that's all my head can think of Take care, Melissa~ |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Serenity, I was peaking around and re-read this one of your's that always seems2touch a place in me and so I revisit you again and place this thread in2 my library4keepz *~coco~* |
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