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Embers_Before_God
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 101
USA

0 posted 2001-03-24 01:31 AM

Oh please,
Write some mush for me.
It’s been so long
Since I read your trash,
Those lovely little odes
That make hearts pump and thrash
And eyes turn with yearning lust.
Yet your pen lacks the trust
That can only come
From within your soul
And your eyes bode
What your future holds.
Turn out, if you will, your heart
And see it lacks the hue
That makes a bard feel true
And sits you amongst the crowd
Rather than far apart.
Despite your use of subtle hints,
Your lavish style, fonts and prints,
I see behind that Don Juan guise
And know the truth behind the lies.
Let the blood in your veins
Be the ink you use
Instead of the mush you muse
And the words you abuse,
Which is but a ruse.

~~~OR~~~

Pain thy heart,
Stab thou head,
Search deep inside
For that, which should be said.
‘Tis no easy task
I ask of thee,
Yet look inside
And you shall see
I speak with truth and honesty.
But please, I beg of thee,
Do not push
That badly written mush.

***Just a note to say that this isn't directed at anyone other than myself. I hope all who read this understand that.***

TkB
© Copyright 2001
All Rights Reserved

Dance with me under the moon. Touch my pale skin. Devour me. Love me.

[This message has been edited by Embers_Before_God (edited 03-24-2001).]

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2001-03-24 03:34 AM

I shall second that emotion! I do get tired of that really syrupy, mushy poetry that means nothing! Good reminder.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2001-03-24 05:05 AM

I like my mush
with melted butter
sugar is too sweet
Now I'll make
some Malt-o-Meal
'cause you've made me hungry

(~,^)
couldn't resist....

and I shall refrain
from writing same
for a day or two
.......maybe.......

LOL....

enjoyed!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-24 10:40 AM

Those lovely little odes
That make hearts pump and thrash
And eyes turn with yearning lust.
Yet your pen lacks the trust
That can only come
From within your soul
And your eyes bode
What your future holds.
Turn out, if you will, your heart
And see it lacks the hue
That makes a bard feel true
And sits you amongst the crowd
Rather than far apart.
Despite your use of subtle hints,
Your lavish style, fonts and prints,
I see behind that Don Juan guise
And know the truth behind the lies.
Let the blood in your veins
Be the ink you use
Instead of the mush you muse
And the words you abuse,
Which is but a ruse.
=========================
Embers .. i love the premise of this...
and the perspective...
well done and clever writing...
I was just talking to a friend about how weary I get of my cliche' muse.
very cool write poet!!

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

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