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Open Poetry #13
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2 Cinquains: Computer & After Scandisk
| Open Poetry #13 |
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2 Cinquains: Computer & After Scandisk |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
informal Cinquain: Computer Little Blocks railroading From green to Red to blue while Defragmenting. Panne © 2000 Formal Cinquain: After Scandisk Passing Over data Bits that cannot be moved My computer defragments Hard drive. Panne © 2000 Please ask before copying my work or using for greeting cards. Thank you. Panne [This message has been edited by Panne415 (edited 03-29-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Panne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
both are cool-- i think i prefer the formal one.... Jamie |
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tradewind Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101 |
i'm hating my computer right now, Panne but can still appreciate a good piece of writing Nice! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now I've got to look up the proper protocol.....stop being perfect, Panne! Well, don't stop, but continue on.... |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hmmm...personally its hard for me to read poems on such technical topics but i must say you have done your job here very well... kai  |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Going to have to research the different definitions of a cinquain. The form I know is: top line 1 noun second line 2 adjectives about it third line 3 adverbs telling how it moves fourth line sentence about it fifth line 1 synonym for it often for the 3rd line, I teach elem. stus. to use 'ing', present progressive verbs about the subject these are the parameters taught me by a college instructor of the teaching of writing |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
VAS, never heard of this particular way of writing a cinquain..will love to try this out some day...  |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
Jamie, Thanks for reading, some days I agree with you - others I am up in the air again I like both forms tho. TW, thank you for your first thoughts. Mine almost the same. lol Sunshine - thanks for your impression - I'll try ...lol Kaile, Kaile, I know nothing technical either - I just have sat and watched the defrag and scandisk process way too often on the monitor - have no idea what it's doing or why outside of the fact that I clicked on defrag or scandisk- Glad you liked. Thanks. Vas, I have 3 sources in print -that can help however my Prof - way back when - said essentially the same as these sources - this was my first source in print - I forget where it came from but I copied it to computer long time ago - I will have to type my other 2 sources and get back to you later but I can honestly say I have never heard of the form you speak of. This form was invented by a young Amercian poet shortly before she died at the age of 36-Adelaide Crapsey. Cinquains (sin’ kanes) -5 line poems - 2 types - formal and informal Informal - line 1 has one word, line 2 has two words, line 3, three words, line 4, four words, line 5 has one word. Examples: authors unknown “Door “Pencil Big door Lead moves Sliding on by Across the paper Falling off the car Wiggly lines in place Sigh.” Done.” Formal: line 1 has two syllables, line 2 has four syllables, line 3 has six syllables, line 4 has eight syllables, and line 5 has two syllables. Examples:: authors unknown “Big dog Little black cat Growling and meowing Carving circles in my backyard Stop now!” "OK Pencil in hand Imagination on Write your own cinquains with good thoughts flowing." Adelaide even deviated from her form now and again - this is her best known work: Triad These be three silent things: The falling snow.. the hour Before dawn.. the mouth of one Just dead. More later when I can get it typed in word then just pasted in here. Hope that helped some Vas. Thank you all very much. Panne |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
Well Mike - I tried to correct it and was told I couldn't after 24 hrs - yet is posted an "edited by..." Go figure. For everyone, Mike found a syllable missing in my 2nd cinquain and told me - here is the corrected version: After Scandisk Passing Over data Bits that cannot be moved As my computer defragments Hard drive. Panne Please ask before copying my work or using for greeting cards. Thank you. Panne |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Bullseye!!! "HEY, DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY!!!" Packratmike |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I like these. . . will have to try some of my own!! -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
Mike - Finally. Again thank you so much for pointing out the mistake. I appreciate it no end. Sven - Oh I hope you do - they are fun and make you work to compress your thoughts - which is why I like them and Haiku, Senryu, Tankas, Limericks and other short pieces. By the way - For all: I have finally changed my ISP and my new email address and I guess username in here will now be Panne447 But whether Panne, Panne415 or Panne 447 they are all me.. Since instant notifications on old addresses will no longer come thru, please feel free to email at [email protected] with any future critiques on these older entries. Thanks again for your patience. Panne |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hey, i like these better! especially the informal cinquain... |
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