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PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-05-15 10:05 AM

Second time around
Almost like Heaven
Second lonely sound
I almost felt then
Now it comes again
I shouldn’t be here
Dreaming of falling in
Every time you’re near

And I couldn’t take you away
When the rain falls,
It falls on everyone
And when the night turns to day
As the light calls,
I’m still under the same bright sun

But the night seems to take you away
And the darkness grows every day
I’m in Hell with no sound
I’m in Hell when you’re around
How can someone so unhappy be?
How can happiness torture me?

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

1 posted 2001-05-15 10:12 AM

Sounds like a miserable existence, indeed...., but you said it so well....

angelswing
Senior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 705
United Kingdom

2 posted 2001-05-15 10:13 AM

Cool .
Realy liked that one, you have put a lot of thought into it .
thanks .
L.of.L. Tommy .
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Try not, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2001-05-15 10:14 AM

Happy and sad all at once.....I like this

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

4 posted 2001-05-15 11:02 AM

loved it

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-05-15 02:07 PM

Second lonely sound
I almost felt then
Now it comes again
I shouldn’t be here
Dreaming of falling in
Every time you’re near

And I couldn’t take you away
When the rain falls,
It falls on everyone
And when the night turns to day
As the light calls,
=========================
I’m in Hell with no sound
I’m in Hell when you’re around
How can someone so unhappy be?
How can happiness torture me?
=======================

feeling every line of this today,
love the phrases and comparisons in this PK..
and the ache wrapped in rhyme and imagery.
this is one of my favs of yours,
for both its intensity and its subtlties.

tis never easy being a moth,
tis not easy being the flame.
what some never see is--
sometimes ... most times ...
they are one in the same.

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