Open Poetry #13 |
Unshrouded Betrayal |
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
©2001C.G. Ward a band of roses wrapped about this simple hearth of stone - the blaze breaks, yea, and petals descend; a hushed mantle - melancholy gray askew upon the floor they weep blue tears. the limp residue of yester-gone bruises tonight where spreads the webs of kindness, blissfully cheering for the ghosts of tomorrow? how lie the strands of lusting, with their bitterness and fear resurrecting Before? once staked a claim of tarnished pride then secrets told, she mapped a place athwart a headboard; notched by desire, yet bolstered by the crumbled bedclothes draped across the mirror. it still reeks of anger, this rooted memory above the flames- still screams anew with each petal falling. falling falling fallen but they weaken – winter comes but once a season, bears the mighty to descend. and yet the shroud, oh yes the shroud – it forms a halo of hope beneath the cushioning of experience to soften the wake of betrayal’s chill. The line that separates the real world from unreality is thin and easily snapped, like cheap elastic. What is real and what is hallucination is not a matter of physics but of perception. Darkness is not always the catalyst for dreams. Life is as real as an individual desires it to be, or as insubstantial. From “Collectible” Alan Dean Foster |
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© Copyright 2001 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
a band of roses wrapped about this simple hearth of stone - the blaze breaks, yea, and petals descend; a hushed mantle - melancholy gray askew upon the floor they weep blue tears. the limp residue of yester-gone bruises tonight ====================== once staked a claim of tarnished pride then secrets told, she mapped a place athwart a headboard; notched by desire, yet bolstered by the crumbled bedclothes draped across the mirror. ======================== it forms a halo of hope beneath the cushioning of experience to soften the wake of betrayal’s chill. ============================= tis been far too long since your words were seen here poet sir... and this is excellence. the imagery in that first verse is outstanding, so many cool lines and phrases as well. so many layers and contrasts...intensely written. well done poet sir, as always. Did you make it to the Milky Way, |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is a excellent, albeit painful piece, and would be much enhanced if flanked by a picture of despair, as opposed to one of disgust...imho, of course. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 05-12-2001).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"askew upon the floor they weep blue tears. the limp residue of yester-gone bruises tonight" "once staked a claim of tarnished pride then secrets told, she mapped a place athwart a headboard; notched by desire, yet bolstered by the crumbled bedclothes draped across the mirror." "and yet the shroud, oh yes the shroud – it forms a halo of hope beneath the cushioning of experience to soften the wake of betrayal’s chill." Excellent Chris! Powerfully moving sentiments, and incredible imagery. The phrasing is superb and so very flowing. A very thought-provoking and compelling piece, very much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Apparently this is the first I've read of yours for the style is more unique than any I've read here. Every line is fascinating/captivating. I'll be watching for more. I can tell this will need further reads to reap its fullness, so I think I'd better make a copy and spend some time with it. Okay????? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ah....I didn't know I was thirsty until you brought me refreshment. This is an oasis in the desert. Painfully written, gratefully read. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Outstanding! ~Tier |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Smiles for m'boy here! In one post you just blow me out of the water!!! This had the poetic effect of a punch in the stomach for me (that's a compliment too ) Adding to my library, Chris, there is much here to ponder, and once again, I feel like you've been peeking in my windows! (serenity exits, eyeing her windows with suspicion....) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh. I forgot. Library. Right. sheesh! I hate when I ruin my own exits!!!! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Well, you decided to share a poem with us! Is there a special occasion (other than your new pic? )? Powerful words here, Chris, for some reason I especially liked the first two lines. Don't know why, I just did. Well done. [This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 05-12-2001).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing. Kingsley Amis Janet - As always, you make me feel like I've written something more spectacular than I really did. A smidgen of words and a few bytes of blather do not a poet make. But I do appreciate you words. Kari - See above. Really though, I didn't feel so much either of those. Rather, a dawning of the realization that there is such an animal as hope, and 'tis one which will visit if you only open the door. Kit - With friends like you, why do I do anything except write? Your kind words and pointed compliments do much to ease my concern over such an unworthy piece. Thank you m'lady. VAS - Ah, the re-read! It amazes me to this day how one can read somethign once, and the second, third and fourth time find something different in the very same words. I wonder sometimes if the writer hasn't simply edited the works magically in between reads! Thank you for your attention. Sharon - I remember you telling me once that you don't drink. I think therein lies your problem... don't you? Tiersdin - Thank you! Karen - Ah, but your exit is never as grand as your entrance. My pardon for the gut shot, but you shouldn't sneak up on a guy like that. Peace m'friend. Elizabeth - If it speaks to you, then no reason needs be attached. What you like is what you like and no more must be said. Thank you for your comments (pic and all! ) Peace, C The encumbrance of a fact begets the demise of imagination. -Me |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Hi! Well ... let's see ... I have to admit this confused me a bit. I thought it was going in one direction, and then it twisted ... I'm having trouble deciding whether this is a true "lament" or simply a "well, it kinda bites (perhaps past tense?), but I learned something" piece. Or maybe it's neither and I'm just totally lost. Either way, it's nice to see you writing again ... thanks for sending me this one! Linda |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
PS: That picture is STILL awful ... I find it difficult to consider your work in a serious light with that thing leering at me ... |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Christopher, this is really powerful....excellent! SEA |
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