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Open Poetry #13
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suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana

0 posted 2001-05-11 01:09 PM


How quickly dissolved all promise of light
The blackness descends. In the depths of the night
A cry for lost dreams is torn from my throat.
With indelible ink, on my heart you wrote
And then just walked away.

Offers joyously accepted were never meant
But for one shining moment, you were heaven sent.
Foolish creature I am, in love and not needed
Yet taunted with warnings I should have heeded
To avoid all this dismay.

I'm lost in a quagmire not entered by choice
And find myself silenced, lacking a voice
But to scream in vain at the heavens above
For the unfairness I'll never know love.
To not wake again, I pray.


© Copyright 2001 suthern - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2001-05-11 01:11 PM


nothing is hopeless and yuh deep down gotta know it yuh.

this poem rocks searching searching deep i Love it

Tessa
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 67
Ohio
2 posted 2001-05-11 01:15 PM


Very painful.  You portray your emotions quite well.  
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

3 posted 2001-05-11 01:18 PM


This is very haunting, lady....truly a melancholy write....
Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-05-11 01:19 PM


nothing is so hopeless. . . this I know. . . keep looking. . . the way is coming. . .

excellent writing my friend. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
5 posted 2001-05-11 03:55 PM


Ah dear Lady Suthern... I hope this is no more than good writing, otherwise I'll have to kick that Toe in the backside for his afront.  I bow to you and your's.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2001-05-11 04:39 PM


Foolish creature I am, in love and not needed

an awful feeling....expressed well

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2001-05-11 05:12 PM


Yes I always hope the one I am with right now will be the one and the search will be over...still the realization creeps in that it takes two of like heart and spirit...and they are not always so willing as I...but I do have hope that someday one will be just as desirous...James
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-05-11 05:17 PM


A cry for lost dreams is torn from my throat.
With indelible ink, on my heart you wrote
And then just walked away.

Offers joyously accepted were never meant
But for one shining moment, you were heaven sent.
Foolish creature I am, in love and not needed
Yet taunted with warnings I should have heeded
To avoid all this dismay.
===========================

never say never Ruthie-girl...
but I understand the way our minds work when we're hurting ...
and only you could say it in such a bleeding  aching cadence kissed way.
hard to critique such an emotive piece...
but the rhyme scheme is way cool.
heartstring playing render me girlie...
wish we didnt know the words to the song so well.
hugs RG
me

Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
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By the sea
9 posted 2001-05-11 05:47 PM


So sad and painful is this poem.  Please know that there is always hope...always.  I know, because I've been there too many times.  My best to you.

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
10 posted 2001-05-11 08:26 PM


Very nicely written, suthern...but, don't ever give up on love, as distant as it may be now...very cliche of me, I know, but I know it's true.  Without it, and I don't just mean the love of a man and woman, I mean, just general love...where can we say we'd be??  Again, nicely written, m'friend...

sp  

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk in the room...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

11 posted 2001-05-11 08:30 PM


This tugs my heart strings Suthern, and I most definately am relating to this right now....but I refuse.......I will not give in.....for LOVE has the power, yep.  Very deep..this one dear lady.  *s*

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

latin passion
Senior Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 576

12 posted 2001-05-11 10:04 PM


There is POWER in love--- you expressed your feelings in the weaving of your poem. Having been there myself - I concur with Gentle Spirit. LP

For those who believed in me -
I send my love.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
13 posted 2001-05-11 10:06 PM


You knew I'd search for your name here didn't you. You write MY heart Ruth. Please know that you are NOT alone in this feeling. There are times when I want to shout it out loud, but others would be hurt and I am too afraid of rejection......

Let's go cry in our beer (root beer for me).....we'll get silly and sit on a bench in the park and watch the squirrels play with their nuts.  

LOL

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
14 posted 2001-05-11 11:07 PM


suthern girl....any time you feel the darkness descending, call me.....I have candles  

a heart like yours is much too beautiful to go without love.....it will come  

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

15 posted 2001-05-11 11:49 PM


"Foolish creature I am, in love and not needed"

I echo Nakedthoughts, an awful feeling indeed.

Though sad and painful, it is not hopeless.

Hugs

Maree  


SEA
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with you
16 posted 2001-05-12 03:31 AM


Sweet Suthern... it will come to you, and if Balladeer has candels....*sigh* let him light the way    Hugs to you    SEA
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
17 posted 2001-05-12 03:55 AM


Dear Suthern, in my country we have a saying:

'Behind dark clouds, the sun is always shining'

It's true, dark clouds will not stay forever and I'm sure your sun will shine again for you. And while waiting, know you'll have many friends who love you.

Titia


Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
18 posted 2001-05-13 02:56 AM


May the light of love shine upon you soon.  This was a very well done couplet sonnet, and however sad it was, your poetry shows a definite love of the written word.  Thank you for the grace of a great poem.

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~

Homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/451673

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
19 posted 2001-05-13 07:06 AM


Ruth,
Your poem is very moving and very well written. The rhyming was excellent.

Such a beautiful spirit will stand on its own with or without promises. I hope you look deep into the mirror of your essence and see what wonderful gifts you have to give.
A lost dream has it's place, but does not occupy the whole. Your well of life runs very deep. There is so much more for you.
Take care
Love and hugs
Liz

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
20 posted 2001-05-13 07:20 AM


There is such depth within these lines Suthern, powerful emotion, with such delicate sadness woven throughout in this beautifully rhythmic piece. Wonderful writing that touched me deeply ...

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
21 posted 2001-05-13 02:11 PM


SuthernGal~
Such an emotive outpouring of the heart.

'But for one shining moment, you were heaven sent.'

Keep the light burning, sweetie~
Someone deserving will find the way~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
22 posted 2001-05-14 09:52 AM


wayoutwalt: Thank you for loving it... and for saying it rocks! *G*

Tessa: Thank you very much... I appreciate your comments!

Decaflame: Thank you so much for reading! *S*

Sven: Are you sure that's not a TRAIN coming? LOL Thank you very much!

Andrew: If it's good writing, that's enough. *S* Thank you, gallant sir!

nakdthoughts: Awful indeed... sucks your soul dry, doesn't it? *S* Thank you!

JamesMichael: I sincerely wish you the best of luck! *S*

Janet Marie: But... but... but... I don't think my mind DOES work! *G* And that dern song has so many repeating verses it's hard NOT to learn... however much we  hate singing it. *S* Thank you... I'm glad you like the rhyme scheme. *S*

Auguste: Thank you... your best is a treasure. *S*

snowpants: I think it gave up on me... or hurled me into the trash. *S* Thank you so much... a "nicely written" from you is greatly appreciated! *S*

Gentle Spirit: I'm so sorry you're relating... I wouldn't wish empathy on anyone. Thank you for reading!

latin passions: Thank you for reading... your response is appreciated. *S*

PDV: You are so very kind... and so dear. *S* I would so love to accept your invitation... maybe some day! *S* (Does tear drenched root beer taste better than salty iced tea? *G* I could switch! LOL)

Balladeer: You're a sweetheart, Deer One. *S* Do you furnish matches, too? *G* Thank you, dear friend.

Dark Angel: Maybe not the first time it happens... *S* Thank you very much for reading.

SEA: If Bal lights a candle, I'll be crushed by the stampede of women wanting to have a candlelight dinner with him! LOL.

Titia: What lovely thoughts... thank you so much for sharing them! *S*

Mysteria: I don't think I could ask for a greater compliment than "your poetry shows a definite love of the written word." I'm grateful that's one love that's accepted. *S* Thank you so much!

Elizabeth: I'm never sure of my rhymes when they don't seem to fit the norm... thank you so much for that excellent! *S* And to see your sun shining is so very satisfying... love and hugs back to you! *S*

Kit: Dear lady, your wonderful comments humble me and give me great delight. *S* Thank you so very much!!!

Marge: It doesn't help for them to find the way if they then find me undeserving. *S* Thank you... and hugs back to you! *S*

I apologize for taking so long to respond to your kind comments... I can't post from my home dinosaur and the library lost internet access this weekend... but I was reading and savoring your words... thank you! *S*

[This message has been edited by suthern (edited 05-14-2001).]

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