Open Poetry #13 |
The Aging Prophet |
RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
The Aging Prophet The wadi, That for centuries had served as the direct route To the holy city, A deep and wrathful dryness kept. So different from the sweat That laced his throat and chest Raging for the secret hollows of his waist. He knelt, Then laughed to think: "So like the Jordan, This sweet, delicious sluice Tumbling down a propet's slopes Only to settle As salt In the Dead Sea." RMW |
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© Copyright 2001 RMW - All Rights Reserved | |||
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
you take the reader visually there the piece ends rather sadly, poignantly those last 3 lines...really powerful! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Great job on this one, I really enjoyed it. ~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Bob--So few words and you manage to paint a picture and a feeling...very well done! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
tired. . . this poem shows that feeling. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I know there is a deep meaning here. I'm going to have to mulll this one over. Joyce |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Interesting piece...pity you don't have the critique flag on lol - cause I'd like to discuss it more...I really like it! K |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Intresting piece.....brilliant!!! Nathan |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Virginia...Thanks, neighbor. Bob Mysteria...I appreciate .... your apreciation. Bob Martie....Thank you much. Too kind. Bob Sven...ah, yes...tired. "And miles to go before I sleep." Bob Joyce....Smiling...if it is deep, it is only because of the Great Rift of which the Jordan is a part. Smiling. Thank you. Bob Severn...Flag? What flag? I was never told about a flag? If you should come back to this, please, feel free to comment at length. Did I miss a parade? Darn. Bob Nate....Testing my humility here. But thank you. Bob |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
You have a unique style all unto yourself, sir. Well done. |
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