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Open Poetry #13
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Water Dance
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Water Dance |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Water danced. The water danced on walls for me and horns were blown inside. So weather wrapped - and in air, I stood, and days were counting me. Counting me in ways that added spots (and clapping), in ways that watched the redness crawl. The tears on lines so distant now, so linear and disconnected. How could I push empathy through plastic or have you comprehend my silence? My wishing sent and touches traveled, cross country (FULL), grasping you and sand and sounds. I woke repeatedly to so many of them riding, coasting watered weight - away and back again. And when they stayed there bobbing, I acknowledged your need to rise and fill the way the days seem to, the way the excuses roll around inside my mouth. I trampled the idea of running, then gathered the pieces and swore. And sometimes when things are still and my chest is pressed too tight, I hold my feet and close my eyes, and watch the water dance,... I watch it dance, once more for you. |
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| © Copyright 2001 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Great images! Especially that last stanza, it's fantastic! |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Yes, it takes another reading. Joyce |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
SpitFire--I always get such pleasure from reading your poetry, it is so complex and unique. Just a couple of my favorite lines below...but in truth, I liked it all. "and days were counting me." "How could I push empathy through plastic" |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SpitFire~ So intriguing are your thoughts ... You often catch me in mesmerizing moments of reflection ... 'So weather wrapped - and in air, I stood, and days were counting me.' WOW ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Water danced. The water danced on walls for me So weather wrapped - and in air, I stood, and days were counting me. in ways that watched the redness crawl. The tears on lines so distant now, so linear and disconnected. How could I push empathy through plastic or have you comprehend my silence? ======================== I trampled the idea of running, then gathered the pieces and swore. And sometimes when things are still and my chest is pressed too tight, I hold my feet and close my eyes, and watch the water dance,... I watch it dance, once more for you. ======================== Oh I just loooove getting me way   and I love the way your write... such deep, layered conflictions... and the always unique and thought provoking imagery you meld in with the emote. your poetry makes us reach and think and pull up things inside us... and thats something I admire in poetry... very cool write A .... SO GOOD to see your name here today   meyou speak to me in riddles |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Wow! excellent writing! enjoyed reading... *smiles* -Tier |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
SpitFire, I just want to spend one hour with you so I can see how your mind works. . . excellent. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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