Temptress born from Jenn (another look into aliases)

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Open Poetry #13

Temptress born from Jenn (another look into aliases)

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-04-30 01:06 AM

A subtle view this is....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sinking sun
Brings lonliness
Prelude to the night
While whispers catch desperate tongues,
And run amuck on the wind.
To the creator of dreams,
There seems to be a void,
Somewhere along the way,
The gatekeeper to the realm,
Dropped her key,
Locking herself out,
So who is tending the lush gardens?
While she tries to climb the fence?

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-04-30 01:18 AM

Nice job! The title really changes the poem, and I like that.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

2 posted 2001-04-30 02:19 AM

this is a well written poem. I like it. Joyce

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

3 posted 2001-04-30 08:48 AM

Allan and Joyce,
Thank you both very much for reading.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2001-04-30 01:10 PM

there's an answer to that question somewhere. . .

excellent. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-04-30 01:12 PM

I really love this and you know something? It's too nice here to be inside......I'm going out and plant flowers!!!!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

latin passion
Senior Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 576

6 posted 2001-04-30 02:36 PM

Insightful, diddo from me. I need but a small plot of land.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

7 posted 2001-04-30 03:47 PM

Jenn,

this is lovely. See you are in your search for self, hoping you are well.

Cor

Passions Voice
Member

since 2000-10-23

Posts 291
Michigan

8 posted 2001-04-30 06:42 PM

It's always interesting to go back and remember who we are.

Why do we ever forget? Makes you think.

Good poem.

passion is life. . . ~Diana

painted lady
Junior Member

since 2001-04-01

Posts 48
on the wing or nectaring

9 posted 2001-04-30 06:55 PM

Love the mystery in this, T/J!
Why locked?
Lush gardens?
And she left to seek out what dream?

p l

And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils. Wm Wordsworth (I Wondered Lonely as a Cloud)

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