Open Poetry #13 |
Only one with the night |
walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Fiercely we took on the night. We broke its silence with our hearts. It all started with one kiss. Now the bed creaks and creaks. Our love talks its own language, communicating our bodies. Perfecting their own sign language. So much energy fused. So much youth, in passionate bloom. While our shadows silhouette, only one with the night. |
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© Copyright 2001 walker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You know a bed that doesn't make noise is no good for making love in! I loved reading this..... Kathleen Blake |
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Blaec Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 130The Sunshine State |
I loved reading this too! Wonderful writing! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"It all started with one kiss. Now the bed creaks and creaks." You never know where a kiss will take you...James |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
'...only one with the night'...what an image! You have, I believe, found your niche (at least one of them). |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
passionate and poetic... Barry would be proud. "Many great relationships start or end in a bar. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I like this, although if I were you I might change "creaks and creaks" to something else. It doesn't seem to fit with the feeling of the rest of the poem. Perhaps it seems to scream where the rest of the poem whispers. Anyways. Just call me the imagery police! LOL! I'm still training to, so ya don't have to worry. Hope you don't mind the thoughts. *Jenn* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Our love talks its own language, communicating our bodies. Perfecting their own sign language. ================== While our shadows silhouette, only one with the night. ================== this is such a cool poem... wonderful melding of imagery and sensual emote... your gift of achieveing vivid and stark images with poetic succinctity is showcased in this gem very cool write walker. There are two lasting bequests |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is excellent. . . it walks that wonderful line of sensuality. . . wonderful. . . ---------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Walker, Most sensual...a language we all know well. Michael Proust- |
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