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Open Poetry #13

Vision of Eternity

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

0 posted 2001-04-26 07:00 PM

Melancoly, metallic butterflies dancing
on the windows of eternity
forgotton from the minds of men
as father time laughs at his
own blindness
in a well padded cell
in the heart of destiny
as tears stream from empty sockets
down Death's solem brow
cowebs collect on empty, rotting buildings
as a fallen star is dipped in propane
and caught ablaze to
feel the pain of his fallen dark glory
sun rises to an alien sky
as unhuman voices
join in silent chorus
the infant shall lie with the savage beast
when the dying goat bows his knee
to the searing power
of the blood stained lamb.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-04-26 07:06 PM

WOW....very vivid!

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

2 posted 2001-04-26 08:10 PM

thank you

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 2001-04-27 02:13 AM

This was very intense. You've got some very vivid images here. I enjoyed it.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-04-27 08:30 AM

Melancoly, metallic butterflies dancing
on the windows of eternity
=========================
as a fallen star is dipped in propane
and caught ablaze to
feel the pain of his fallen dark glory
sun rises to an alien sky
as unhuman voices
join in silent chorus
=========================
outstanding imagery here ...
as well as excellent employ of metaphor
this is a clever and unique write ... deep for sure.
and one that each reader will find their own interpretation with in its many layers.
well done poet sir

Though my soul may sit in darkness,
It will arise in perfect light.
For I have loved the stars too fondly ...
To be fearful of the night.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

5 posted 2001-04-27 10:07 AM

This has an aching vividness, along with an utmost melancholy feel, it is painful. Extremely well-written!!! It seems to be on the edge of despair...is that what you're going for or am I way off the mark?

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