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Open Poetry #13

a day of stone

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

0 posted 2001-04-26 10:06 AM

a day of stone, cold wet and gray
upon the sand it melts away
with every single word that's bled
from in and outside of my head

i walk the shore with heart so fair
while spilling words that others wear
'til mine is but an empty stride
in briny surf my footsteps hide

and when the day's been said and done
as final thoughts set with the sun
behind are left the words i wept
amongst the stones the sea has kept

remember when you hear this rhyme
a day of stone erodes with time

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-04-26 10:11 AM

I loved this metaphor....very much

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-04-26 10:14 AM

a day of stone erodes with time.

I thought that wrapped this up rather neatly, Mike! Beautifully penned, picturesque and thoughtful.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

3 posted 2001-04-26 10:17 AM

You had me feeling sad and then your last line brought a reprieve. Joyce

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

4 posted 2001-04-26 10:36 AM

Thank you all for the kind remarks...my muse nudged me awake at 4a.m. this morning to write this one. I think she's trying to tell me something.*S*

Mike

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

5 posted 2001-04-26 05:20 PM

enjoy the read

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

6 posted 2001-04-27 03:23 AM

Thank you vandana.

Mike

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