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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Dark Poetry #3 |
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The Image |
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PoeticJustice Junior Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 44AK, USA |
I started this one about two years ago and then it sorta just sat there with only the first stanza done... Then about two weeks ago I came back to it and finished it. I couldn't make it work the first time... I guess I matured enough in that two years to find the right words and ideas to create the image I wanted to convey. The Image I had a dream once, a vision if you will, An image of famine and war and destruction, The day the world stood still The sky was blood red choked with the cries of millions, Well, the ones who weren’t dead. Bloated bodies clogged the murky rivers, Diseases children ran sobbing through the cracked city streets. And as I watched this, my heart skipped its beats. And that sun, that faceless butcher, was sending its deadly rays at all who dared set foot outside. The roasting bodies—dead and living, made a stench unbearable for even the flies. Or maybe they were all dead, too. Then, out of the bleeding sky, came three projectiles, maybe four. They hit the ground with a thwack, and there was a terrible white flash. It was then I knew, the world was no more. I wake with a start, and look around to make sure everything is O.K. Getting ready to scold myself for such childishness. But before I can rebuke, I hear on TV, “President authorizes use of nukes”. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Joshua Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
unfortunately, these are valid thoughts , which hopefully wont come to pass too soon. but the poetic image came through well. |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Very sad image, but also very, very, VERY true. I liked the vivid images you painted...very powerful. If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." (If only...>; P) |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmm... I like this, but I found that the rhymes were a little forced. To me it just seemed that you were floundering around to make the poem rhyme. Not a bad thing, really, just something that drives me crazy to no end  I do like what I read behind the words though |
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LADY_DEATH Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 105Fl |
Great interpretation of what will probably happen real soon.I don't believe in violence or war it doesn't solve anything only causes more problems.But always like reading your stuff |
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ForGetMeNot087 Junior Member
since 2002-12-08
Posts 15 |
This is the most amazing poem I think I have ever read...great job and. |
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ForGetMeNot087 Junior Member
since 2002-12-08
Posts 15 |
keep witing! |
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PoeticJustice Junior Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 44AK, USA |
Wow... Thanks! And yes, I believe there were two rhymes in there that were forced. I originally wanted to make it a poem about the four horsemen... Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death. But, that didn't work. |
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