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Dark Poetry #3
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since 2003-02-16
Posts 114

0 posted 2003-09-18 08:45 AM

Ephemeral hauntings from an infinitesmal spectre
cloaking his presence with ethereal effluvium
asphyxiating my senses, catalysts for depravity
decussated lacerations caterwaul vermillion
as I plummet to the floor, my eyes a vacuous white
debilitated unable to disreguard his call
and languidly he came, to alleviate my pain
a tingling inebriation consumed my body
as pulsing flashes of vacancy filled my sight
intermittently the flashes slowed and the
void crept in like black ink spilled on paper.

© Copyright 2003 Paragon - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
1 posted 2003-09-18 07:00 PM

this seems very interesting, but i find it hard to understand all of the big words such as; languidly, ethereal, effluvium...ect. maybe i'm just a stupid highschooler, but, i'm wondering if you used too many big words? well, whatever. it's your poem, i'm sure if i where smart enough to just look them up i wouldnt be saying  all this, i'll just shut up now, lol, but like i said, it looks interesting. groovy

"The Red, it filters through" - Chevelle

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-09-24 02:57 AM

Fortunate that such a visitation would be ephemeral.

The title drew me in, as it was so very "Poe-like"--and the impending doom and tone of suffocation spoke of an anxiety attack to me.

But then? smile, with me it's relative.

Damned near everything speaks to me of anxiety.

Try a bit of St. John the Conqueror and a nice Van Van bath with seasalt. So sayeth the witch.

Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2003-09-24 05:17 PM

sounds like you checked out there for
a sec
nice writing

Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

4 posted 2003-09-27 10:01 PM

Great last line for this very interesting and cradled write. Creative gesture and stimulating. Enjoyed.


If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Junior Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 13

5 posted 2003-10-01 02:34 PM

I really liked this.. a Fade to Black type of feeling, of settling unconciousness...of dying. Almost like Im rotting away before my very own eyes, so aware of it, yet unable to change the fact.

Nice write.

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